Konoha High: When things go wrong
by Chi-san is AWESOMENESS
Summary: Sakura is a tomboy. Her best friend is Naruto. She was a Yankee when she was younger, but her bad girl attitude has left her now. Sasuke and Sakura barely acknowledge eachother's existence, but a certain bet has changed a few things. [HIATUS]
1. The First Day of Konoha High

**BEEP BEEP BEEP!**

A groan arose from beneath the covers of a black blanket.

A hand shoved itself out and smashed the alarm, making it turn off instantly.

_Stupid alarm clock... _Sakura thought as she picked herself up and rubbed her eyes.

_**I'LL KILL THAT STUPID ALARM CLOCK, HELL YEAH!!**_, her Inner shouted from within her mind.

_Shut up..._ she ordered and lazily rose from her bed.

The pink haired 16 year old was going to be a sophomore at Konohagakure High. Also known as Konoha High. It was the first day of school today, and she couldn't wait to see the others.

Sakura lazily walked over to the bathroom in her room and took a shower. She washed her face and brushed her pink locks before picking out an outfit.

She decided on a black T-shirt that said 'Back off: They're Naruto's Ramen Noodles' in red.

Naruto and her were Best Friends, and Naruto just HAD to get a T-shirt with that embedded on it. Sakura laughed at her friend's idiocy and then picked out a pair of bootcut jeans. Sakura put on some black eyeliner, mascara and smoky eyeshadow to complete her look. She also wore some chapstick, since over the summer she hadn't really cared about her chapped lips. Sakura slipped on her socks and looked at herself, lazily at the mirror.

It was 7:45.

Sakura went out of her room and walked to her younger brother's door.

"YO! KYO!! WAKE UP BEFORE I BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN!!" she furiously knocked.

A scream could be heard from the other side of the door.

"Don't kill me onee-san!!" her younger brother rushed to open the door.

Sakura just smiled at him before telling him to get ready.

Then she went to her older sister's room.

"Yumi. Wake up, baka." She said.

"I'm already awake lil' fag" her sister replied, opening the door.

"Yeah, I figured" Sakura yawned and went back in her room to get her bag.

Sakura got her iPod and cell phone, plugging in her headphones into her heads.

She listened to 'By Myself' by Linkin Park.

_"I can't hold on  
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin  
It's all too much to take in  
I can't hold on  
To anything watching everything spin  
With thoughts of failure sinking in" _she sang along.

She then went downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed a Rice Krispies bar, waiting for her younger brother.

When he arrived, Sakura put on her black and red, double tongue converse.

Heck yeah, they were hot (I have a blue and white one, I love it ).

"Kyo. You know the way to your school right?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah, yeah" her younger brother sighed.

"Good. Now go away" Sakura laughed and shooed her brother away.

"Hai, hai" he obeyed.

They walked in different directions to school.

There was about 5 minutes left until school started, so Sakura quickened her pace.

"NARUTO!!" Sakura waved at her blonde friend and ran towards him, glomping him.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled, grinning.

"Where've you been, Naruto?" she asked.

"Summer camp….my dad….don't ask. The worst thing is, I had Jiraiya as my counseler there."

"That must be terrible" Sakura said, taking off her black hat.

Naruto nodded in agreement.

"So, are you perverted now?" she asked.

Naruto blushed "Um…uh…er…."

"I'll take that as a yes. Anyways, you got taller Naruto" Sakura put her hand from her forehead to Naruto's. Her hand reached his nose.

"Yup! And your forehead got smaller!!" Naruto gave her a thumbs up.

Sakura's eye twitched.

An anime vein found its way to her forehead.

Inner Sakura had control.

"ASS!!!" she yelled, punching Naruto so hard that he flew back about 10 feet.

Naruto's nose bled and he landed face first on the concrete floor.

8888888888888888888888888888888888888

"Oi! Sasuke-teme! Wassup?" Naruto waved at his _other_ best friend.

Sakura wasn't really friends with Uchiha Sasuke. They barely acknowledged eachother's existence, nor did Sakura care. Sasuke was annoying. SO annoying, that she almost commited suicide because of how frustrating he made life seem.

"Dobe" Sasuke said, before being surrounded with a swarm of hyper fangirls.

Sakura laughed.

"SAKURA!!" the annoying voice of Dogboy was heard.

"YO! DOGBOY!!" Sakura yelled at Kiba and gave him a high five.

She was a tomboy.

Yup.

I'm sure you guessed that.

They began chatting until the sensei came in.

"So as I was saying, there was a cow in my underwear drawer!!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sakura and the other guys, Kiba, Shino, Gaara, Shikamaru, and Chouji gave him a 'WTF' look.

"I'm serious!!" Naruto tried to convince the others.

"Yeah….whatever Naru" Sakura rolled her eyes.

Sensei was over 20 minutes late. AND it was HOMEROOM. Going into 1st period.

The door finally opened.

"Sorry I'm late. My cow Charlie was lost, and I found him in Naruto's underwear drawer…." Kakashi said.

Sakura's eye twitched.

_Naruto wasn't lying? But what was Kakashi doing in Naruto's underwear drawer?_

_**Life is strange Sakura. Life IS strange.**_

_I have to agree with you on that..._

"I TOLD YOU!!" Naruto suddenly exclaimed.

Sakura's eye was still twitching from Kakashi's comment, so Kiba had to smack her face.

"DAMN! OWW!! THAT FLIPPPIN HURT, DOGBOY!!" Sakura strangled him.

Kakashi was sweatsropping "That's enough Sakura…."

Kiba's face was turning purple.

Sakura scowled and let go of Kiba's neck.

"Ok. Let's just introduce ourselves today….then you can talk for the rest of the period….or whatever it is you do at school…." Said the masked man with gravity defying hair.

"Ok…pinky. Introduce yourself" he pointed at Sakura.

"My name is Sakura Haruno" Sakura said lazily.

"Also known as forehead girl!!" Ino yelled.

"Shut up, Ino-pig…" Sakura yawned, not giving a damn.

"What a tranvestite" she heard Ino say.

"What'd you say Dammit?!!" Sakura had an anime vein on her head.

"Tran. Ves. Tite." Ino smirked.

"Hell no! You did not just say that you queer!"

"I am not a queer!!"

"Says the girl that made out with her mom!"

Ino got really pissed off now "Oh yeah?!! FOREHEAD!!"

"UGLY!!"

Ino gasped "LOOK AT THE MIRROR PINKY!!"

Sakura glared at Ino with evil eyes "PREP!!"

"TOMBOY!!"

"HAG!"

"BITCH!"

"WHORE!!"

"VIRGIN!!"

"OH YEAH?! YOUR MOM!!" Sakura ended.

"That's harsh Sakura-chan….." Naruto said.

There was a rush of wind….from who knows WHERE….and a tumbleweed suddenly passed by.

"Whoa. Cool special effects man.." Sakura said and sat back down.

"Are you done?" Kakashi spoke up.

Sakura nodded "Yes I am"

_Old fart..._

_**BUT YOUR SENSEI'S STILL FREAKING HOT!**_

_That's a strange way to talk about a teacher._

_**You can't hide the fact that he's hot, Sakura.**_

_I don't think that, you do._

_**I'm YOU. If I had a choice I'd be someone else.**_

_Shut up._

_**Will do.**_

"Next person." Kakashi sighed, looking bored.

"Naruto Uzumaki!"

"Kiba Inuzuka!"

"Shino Aburame."

"Chouji Akimichi!"

"Shikamaru Nara….how troublesome…."

"Sasuke Uchiha."

There was a sigh and a few squeals….screams…..and some girls fainted.

"Ino Yamanaka!" Ino said in her annoying tone.

"H-Hin-Hinata Hy-Hyuuga…."

"Gaara"

"TenTen"

"Rock Lee"

"Neji Hyuuga"

Then some other random people. (Lee, TenTen and Neji will be the same age as everyone else)

"Ok….now do whatever" Kakashi went to his desk and pulled out a book.

Icha Icha Paradise.

_Come Come Paradise? Pervert..._

For the rest of the period, everyone just talked. Then it was 2nd period.

Sakura had Math with Asuma.

Then it was Science with Kurenai-sensei.

And then Music with Orochi-Iliketotouchlittleboys-maru.

88888888888888888888888888888888888

"No way…." Sakura's eyes widened with surprise as she looked at her schedule.

"What happened Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked.

"I-I-I have MUSIC next!!!" she cried.

"Oh no!! That means…..that means……Sakura-chan!!" Naruto cried along with Sakura.

"N-Naruto…..I'm to young to die!" she said in between sobs.

"I-I-I'm so SORRY Sakura-chan!" he hugged her and cried again.

"What's up?" Kiba asked, noticing the two crying.

Kiba then noticed Sakura's schedule that she was holding.

His eyes widened.

"OH NO!!!!" he began crying as well and hugged Sakura too.

"Spazzes" Sasuke said as he walked by.

For once, they ignored him.

"Hey. I said spazzes." He said, trying to get their attention, which was completely focused on crying and hugging at the moment.

"Crying like babies in the middle of the hallway" Sasuke smirked.

"Shut-shut up-Uchiha!" Sakura cried, wiping a tear.

"I-I have class w-with Michael Jackson next!"

Sasuke laughed "Too bad for you, I have…."

He went to check his schedule and his eyes widened as he gasped.

"No way….." he said, gaping at the sheet of paper "I have him too!! That freak is always **hitting** on me. **HITTING**."

Sasuke looked like he was going to get in a coma.

"There, there Sasuke. I'll help you go through with it" Sakura said, being friendly for once and walking with Sasuke to meet their doom.

"Be careful Sakura-chan!!" Naruto whimpered, snot flooding out his nose and a waterfall of tears down his cheeks.

Kiba sniffed and rubbed his nose "We'll miss you!!"

Then Naruto and Kiba began crying and hugging eachother, making them late for class and getting detention.

-Meanwhile-

"Hello, classsssss" Orochimaru hissed.

The class quavered and trembled with a blue, depressing aura around them as they cuddled their knees. Even Sasuke was having trouble keeping his cool.

Orochimaru passed Sasuke and gave him a touch of the hair, causing Sasuke to yelp slightly and Sakura looked at him, worried.

"It's ok Sasuke…..it's ok!" she said before bursting into tears and slamming her face and hands onto the desk.

Yes.

That's how terrible Orochimaru is.

And it wasn't even the first 10 minutes of class.

How terrible would a year with this psycho be?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Orochimaru bashing, yeah. So if you don't like it then don't read, yeah.

REVIEW PLEASE, YEAH.

Oh crap, Deidara's rubbing off on me.

Deidara: -snicker- I told you I'm influential, yeah.

Idiot, yeah. OH NO! I gotta stop doing that!!

Deidara: Hey, when are you going to introduce me, un?

Some time in a later chapter, yeah. –hits self-

Kakashi: Meet Charlie my pet cow.

….

Ok! So how did you like it? That was my first fanfic, yeah, so um….review? Yeah.

OKAY! Seriously! I am not doing that on purpose!!

The end.


	2. Sasuke's Shirtless! FANGIRLS ATTACK!

Sakura and Sasuke exited Orochimaru's class, eyes twitching and skin as pale as a ghost.

Sakura stopped dead in her tracks and almost fell face first on th ground, but Sasuke caught her around the waist.

"Thank you…." She said.

"Clumsy idiot" Sasuke replied.

Sakura blinked and regained her color.

"You're annoying, Uchiha!" she growled.

"That's my line, Haruno" he said.

They glared at eachother and walked to lunch….still glaring at eachother.

Sakura finally got tired of glaring and just stopped.

"Well well well. If it isn't the forehead girl" …guess who.

"Move, turd" Sakura sighed.

"What are you doing with Sasuke-kun, huh? He's MINE. So back off"

"_You_ piss off, pig. Nothing's going on, I just want to eat"

"Eating? No wonder you're so fat" Ino crossed her arms.

"You're just mad cause you don't have a chest like mine" Sakura smirked.

Her chest was a little more than average. Ino was VERY flat chested, but she still had a chest. Lol.

Sasuke unconsciously looked at Sakura's 'chest'.

_Damn. Wait. I'm not perverted!_

_**Can't hide the truth little guy.**_

_Who are you?_

_**I'm you.**_

_Freaktard._

_**Nerd.**_

_Dobe._

_**Weirdo.**_

_Why am I fighting with myself?_

_**Cause you're weird.**_

_Whatever. Shut up._

_**Will do, brother. Will do.**_

_I thought you were me. Not my brother._

_**-sigh- Baka.**_

_Hn._

Sakura and Sasuke finally got out of Ino's way.

Sakura sat next to Gaara and Naruto. Sasuke sat at the corner of the table, but not secluded from the others.

"So how was Music….Sakura-chan?" Naruto shivered.

"Don't remind me…" Sakura frowned, and gasped as she recalled what happened.

For half the class, Orochi-Iliketotouchlittleboys-maru was hitting on Sasuke and winking at her.

Ugh.

"Hi Gaara!" Sakura grinned at her red headed friend.

"…hi…" Gaara replied.

"So, what's up?" Sakura asked.

"….nothing….why do you ask?..."

"Conversation, buddy" she grinned "Anyways, I'm going to get lunch now. Bye!"

Sakura walked over to the place where you should get food….yeah….

"SAKURA-CHAN!!" a perky and cheerful voice was heard.

Sakura turned her head and ended up getting glomped by a blonde girl? Wait, no. It was a guy.

"Deidara?" Sakura asked.

"HI SAKURA-CHAN!!" he waved, even though he was directly in front of her.

Sakura smiled and got a lunch tray.

"Did Sasori-san give you candy again?" she asked.

"No. I accidentally ate my play-doh, yeah" he said.

Sakura sweatdropped "Ok? So why are you so hyper?"

"He's an idiot" Sasori came up.

"Ahhh!! Sasori-danna is so mean to me!!" Deidara whined.

"I don't blame him" Sakura giggled "Hi Sasori-san"

"Sakura-san" Sasori smirked.

"Sasori-san. You got hotter" Sakura said, nochalantly.

"Hmm…a tomboy telling me that. Should I consider that as a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Good thing" Sakura stuck her tongue out as she got a taco.

Sasori smirked again "Thank you"

"You're still in the Akatsuki, huh?" Sakura asked, now getting some chocolate milk and pudding.

"Yeah, un" Deidara grinned and pointed at his cloak.

"Ok! I'm going to go to my table now!" Sakura said "Bye Birdy! Sasori-san!"

She waved goodbye and walked over to her table.

"You know, Gaara. There's this guy that looks like you. Except his hair is paler. His eyes are different. He has eyebrows. No eyeliner. No 'Ai' tattoo. And he's hotter." Sakura smiled.

"…you think I'm hot?" Gaara would have raised an eyebrow….if he had one.

"I KNOW you're hot Gaara" Sakura nodded.

"Name some other people who are hot, Sakura" Naruto said, grinning.

"Hmmm….Gaara….Sasori-san….Kiba….Shika….you, Naruto….umm…..I have to admit that Kakashi-sensei is pretty hot…."

Naruto and Kiba gaped. Shikamaru was still surprised that Sakura had said he was hot.

"Oh yeah! There's Itachi-san! And of course his chibi-clone!" she showed her grin to Sasuke.

"I am NOT his chibi-clone."

"Then stop acting like it, you chicken's ass"

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Chicken's ass. Don't tell me you didn't notice. It looks like you cut off a chicken's ass and glued it onto the back of your head…." Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Hn. Bitch"

"Man-whore"

"Playgirl"

"Playboy"

"And you know you like it" Sasuke smirked.

Sakura twitched. Then her milk came out of her nose.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" she laughed uncontrollably "Y-you serious, dude? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"That wasn't the reaction I was imagining…." Sasuke frowned.

"Sasuke. Take off your shirt" Sakura said.

"What?" he asked.

"Just do it" she ordered.

"I get it, you wanna see my abs, doncha?" he smirked cockily.

"Gag. Just do it" Sakura said, coldly.

"Fine" he lifted his shirt.

Sakura cleared her throat "Oh my god!!" she said in a girly voice "It's a shirtless Sasuke-kun!! EEEEK!!"

The fangirls instantly looked at Sasuke.

"AHHH!!! He's SO HOTT!!!" they cried and stampeded.

Sakura laughed, but noticed Sasuke shirtless.

_Damn. He's hotter than I thought._

_**Right on!**_

_Dude. You're talking like a hippy._

_**Stop saying dude!**_

_Dude. I can't ok? It's my nature to say dude, dude._

_**I'm not a dude!**_

_What am I supposed to say? Dudette? Now that's just weird._

_**-sighs-**_

Sakura quickly looked away from Sasuke and braced herself for the impact when the fangirls collided.

"That was smart, Sakura-chan" Naruto nodded.

"Naruto….are you gay?" she asked, confused.

"No! It's smart how you got revenge by making his fangirls attack. Look, they're fighting for his shirt!"

"Ahh! No! I want that shirt! No me! Eeek! Let's take his pants!! Me first! Out of the way!! Agh!"

"Yup" Sakura grinned, and turned away, pretending like nothing happened and conversing with Kiba and Shikamaru and the others, while Sasuke was sying from lack of oxygen.


	3. A Bet and a Kiss

**Kakashi: -looks up from Icha Icha book- what?**

**Sasuke: Disclaimer idiot.**

**Kakashi: -ignores and reads Icha Icha-**

**Sasuke, why don't you do it? It appears that Kakashi is busy --'**

**Sasuke: You're here. You do it.**

**No I'm not! Well, lookie there, Bob my Unicorn is running away! Come back Bob!**

**Sasuke: -sighs- -Just-Another-Empty-Soul- does not own Naruto….psh…and you call me emo.**

**I HEARD THAT!!**

**Sasuke: Your refrigerator is running.**

**CRAP!!**

Ok!

The first day of school just came and ended like THAT.

Sakura headed to Ichiraku with Naruto and the others….and Sasuke.

"I bet I could beat you Naruto!" Sakura taunted, breaking apart her chopsticks.

"You didn't just challenge Naruto, did you?" Kiba raised an eyebrow as Akamaru barked.

"Heck yeah, I did" Sakura moved her head to face the back of her head.

Tomboy.

"So! I bet I could beat you! I'm flipping hungry right now!" Sakura smirked.

"OK!" Naruto grinned "So let's make it a bet!!"

"OK! If I win, you get to be my slave for a week!" Sakura grinned back.

"Ok! If I win, me and the guys get to pick out what you wear for the next eternity!!" Naruto replied.

Sakura's eye twitched _Pervert..._

"No WAY! NOT forever, man!"

"Fine! Until the beginning of senior year!" Naruto nodded.

Sakura rolled her eyes "Fine…." She muttered.

They shook on it.

"Ready. Set. Go!" Kiba announced.

Sakura and Naruto dove right into they're bowls, finishing the first at the next time.

"MORE PLEASE!!" they hollered in unison at the old man.

It came immediately and Sakura and Naruto finished the whole bowl in 6 seconds FLAT.

They ordered more and more.

Naruto's pace quickened, but Sakura's pace slowed down after the 6th bowl.

"Tired-slurp-yet-slurp-Sakura-chan?" Naruto said in between slurps.

"No…way…Naruto…" Sakura lied and devoured the 7th bowl.

"Wow…." Kiba gaped.

"I didn't know Sakura could eat like that…." Chouji's mouth hung.

"How troublesome…." Shikmaru yawned.

"Dobes…"

"I-slurp-heard that, Uchiha! And-slurp-when I'm done with this-slurp-you are IN for it!" Sakura said.

By the 10th bowl, Sakura's stomach didn't feel so good.

"Holy crap, man!" Sakura gasped as Naruto kept on eating.

"My stomach doesn't feel so good…." Sakura put a hand over her mouth and retched.

"Sakura? Sakura?" Kiba rubbed her back.

She almost gagged "I'm fine. Naruto! Why do you have to go and make things so constipated?" she giggled, singing Weird Al's constipated song.

"Ew. Seriously?" Kiba asked.

"No! Idiot! But I feel like singing" Sakura said.

"Sakura! I won the bet!" Naruto cheered.

"_Uh huh ... extra cheese  
Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me_

Pizza party at your house  
I went just to check it out  
Nineteen extra larges  
What a shame  
No one came"

Sakura sang. The others looked at her weird, but pretty soon, Naruto joined in.__

Just us eatin' all alone  
You said, "Take the pizza home"  
"No sense lettin' all this go to waste"  
So then I faced

Pizza all day  
And every day  
This cheese 'round the clock  
Is gettin' me blocked  
And I sure don't care  
For irregularity

Then Kiba and Chouji.__

Tell me  
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?  
'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated  
In the bathroom ... I sit and I wait and I strain  
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain  
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?  
No no no

I was feelin' pretty down  
'Till my girlfriend came around  
We're just so alike in every way  
I gotta say

In fact, I just thought I might  
Pop the question there that night  
I was kissing her so tenderly  
But woe is me

Finally, Shikamaru.__

Who would have guessed  
Her family crest  
I'd suddely spy  
Tattooed on her thigh  
And son-of-a-gun  
It's just like the one on me

Tell me  
How was I supposed to know we were both related?  
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated  
What to do now? Should I go ahead and propose  
And get hitched and have kids with eleven toes  
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated?  
No no no no no no no  
No no no no no no no  
No no no no no

Not Gaara or Sasuke.__

I had so much on my mind  
I thought maybe I'd unwind  
Try out that new roller coaster ride  
And the guide

Said not to stand  
But that's a demand  
That I couldn't meet  
I got on my feet  
And stood up instead  
And knocked off my head, you see

Tell me  
Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?  
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it  
Such a drag, now ... Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore  
I can't belch or yodel anymore  
Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated

Oh no  
Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)  
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated  
What a bummer  
Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeeze  
But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now  
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated  
No no no"

"Dude, that was flippin awesome!!" Sakura yelled, pumping her fists in the air.

"Yeah!!" Naruto exclaimed with Kiba.

"Sakura-chan. Tomorrow you'll be wearing what _we_ choose!" Naruto reminded her.

"Ugh, yeah. Whatever." Sakura groaned, and rolled her eyes.

Then something caught her eye.

"Be right back" Sakura said and ran over to what caught her eye.

Itachi Uchiha.

"Itachi-san!" Sakura called out.

He was walking with Fishboy.

"Guy with...blue skin?" she blinked "Your name is now Fish head"

He growled at her.

"Sakura." Itachi looked at her with emotionless eyes.

Sakura looked up at Itachi and was greeted with a soft kiss to the lips.

-Meanwhile-

The others watched Sakura as she ran over to something.

"Where's she going?" Naruto asked, tilting his head slightly.

The others watched as Sakura met up with 2 men. One with blue skin, the other which Sasuke immediately recognized.

"Itachi!" he snarled.

"Your brother?" Shikamaru asked.

Sasuke glared at him and watched his brother with fury.

_What would Sakura want with Itachi_, he pretended to be uninterested, but gaped when he saw Itachi kiss her.

_**WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING TO HER?!!**_

"WHAT THE FREAK, SASUKE?!! YOUR BROTHER STOLE SAKURA'S FIRST KISS! I WANTED IT!!" Naruto and Kiba shouted simultaneously before pointing at eachother "_You_ like Sakura-chan?!"

"Yeah!"

"Well back off, she's mine!"

They argued.

"Itachi-san. What was that for?" Sakura asked, unphased.

"No reason. Just to annoy my little brother and his friends over there" he sighed.

Sakura laughed "Genius. So how's Akatsuki?"

"Who's the pink haired bitch?" Fishboy snarled.

"Who's the weird fish?" Sakura raised an eyebrow.

The 'thing' snarled "Kisame Hoshigaki"

"Sakura Haruno. Say, Itachi-san. Are you gay?" Sakura asked, receiving a barely noticable twitch from Itachi.

"No" he poked Sakura's forehead "How could you make such a foul assumption?"

"Well…you don't have a girlfriend. But you have a LOT of fangirls."

"Hnn" he shrugged.

"Itachi-san. You're a bad influence on the Chicken's Ass."

Itachi furrowed his eyebrows "You mean Sasuke"

Sakura shrugged "Yeah sure, whatever. Anyways, he acts a lot like you. Having another Itachi in my life is completely unbearable. I nearly killed myself."

"Should have went along with it" Kisame muttered.

Sakura punched him in the gut and he flew back a bit, coughing blood and yelling stuff that doesn't exactly make someone's day…

"Is it that terrible to have me in your life, Sakura?" Itachi asked, still emotionless.

"Oooh. That came out the wrong way, didn't it? Heh. Well, you're at least bearable. But Sasuke's emo and cocky. You're emo and angry" Sakura crossed her arms and nodded.

Itachi poked her forehead again.

"You're also short" Sakura sneered.

He poked her AGAIN.

"Stop it!" Sakura rubbed her now red forehead.

"Ok" he replied.

"Well, bye! See you….when I see you" Sakura shrugged and ran back towards the others.

Itachi didn't reply, she shrugged it off.

After all.

That _was_ Itachi.

"Sakura-chan!! Who do you like more? Me or Kiba?!!" Naruto demanded.

"I like both of you the same. Why?"

"They both like you, or something." Shikamaru sighed.

"Shut up!" they yelled at him.

Sakura just rolled her eyes.

"Sakura-chan! Was that your first kiss that Itachi took!?!!!" Kiba and Naruto demanded once more.

"No" Sakura said.

They gasped. Even Sasuke choked on his water a little. But he didn't know why.

"WHO TOOK YOUR FIRST KISS?!!" they slammed their hands on the counter.

Sakura glanced at the guys and saw that Gaara blushed. But it was barely noticable.

"It was…"


	4. The Bet Begins! Sakura's Outfit!

DISCLAIMER: I'm taking over the job of saying this today…I do not own Naruto…sadly.

Chapter 4! LET'S START!!

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!! Wake up! Wake up!!" Naruto jumped on Sakura's sleeping figure as Kiba, Shikamaru and Sasuke watched "Sakura-chan!!"

Sakura asked herself and slowly awakened from her sleep. 

At first, all she could see was an orange fuzz, but she blinked a few times and noticed that Naruto was on top of her.

"SHANNARO!!!" she cried and punched Naruto dead on in the skull.

Naruto fleeewww into her closet door with a newly found bump on his head.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!! WHO LET YOU IN MY ROOM?!!" Sakura snarled.

"Your sister did…how troublesome…" Shikamaru yawned.

"We're going to pick out your clothes!!" Kiba gave a grin, but he had an evil glint in his eyes.

Sakura looked over at the guys.

There was Shikamaru.

Kiba.

Sasuke.

And Naruto.

WAIT!!

SASUKE?!!

"What the hell is the Uchiha doing in here?!!" she glared.

"Naruto's fault…" Sasuke said aggravatedly.

"Psh" Sakura scoffed.

"OK! SAKURA-CHAN! Where are your clothes?!!" Naruto jumped back up, apparently without a bump on his head.

"Eh…Naruto. Gimme my shorts…" Sakura ordered, reaching out her hand.

The boy's blushed a pink, Sasuke turned away to hide his blush.

"What? I sleep in my underwear…" Sakura sighed as Naruto handed her her shorts.

She slipped them on from beneath the covers.

"My clothes are in the closet Naruto, where else?" Sakura sighed again.

"Right!" he nodded and forced the closet door open.

"It won't budge!!" Naruto cried, his feet on the door, and his body hanging.

"Naruto….you have to turn the doorknob…" Sakura rolled her eyes at Naruto's unbelievable stupidity.

He blushed "RIGHT! I knew that, believe it! Just messing with you!! Hahahahahaha" he rubbed the back of his head.

"Mhm…" Sakura smiled and rose from her bed.

"Hmm…Sakura-chan…you only have tomboyish clothes here…." Naruto rubbed his chin.

"Tranvestite" Sasuke muttered.

"What'd you say emo fag?!!" Sakura growled.

"Emo fag?!!"

"Yeah! EMO fag! You're always acting emo, but you have no reason to BE depressed!! WTF?!" Sakura said.

"Hn"

"And there's the 'hn' it's NOT a real word! Get a new vocabulary"

"HN" Sasuke smirked.

"Sakura-chan? Where's your sister's room?" Naruto asked.

"2 doors to the right" Sakura said and continued glaring at Sasuke, who easily matched her.

"GREAT! COME ON GUYS!!" Naruto grinned and went out the room.

Sakura's eyes widened. 

Sasuke took this opportunity to go with Naruto.

But it's not like Yumi'll lettem in, right?

"Nee-san! Don't tell Naruto or Kiba where I am, ok? We're playing hide and seek and I want to win!" the young Sakura told her sister.

"Sure Sakura" Yumi smiled.

Sakura hid in the closet in her room.

A while later.

"Yumi-chan! Do you know where Sakura-chan is?" the young Naruto asked.

"In the closet" Yumi replied boredly.

"Thank you!"

------------

Sakura was 5 and she was making a shake for herself and Naruto.

"AHHH!!" she cried as the blender went haywire, causing liquid to splatter everywhere.

"OH NO!!" she yelled.

"Oooh, Sakura. You're going to be in trouble" Yumi shook her hands in a 'you're in trouble' manner.

"No! Yumi! Please don't tell! Please!! I'll do your chores for a week, but don't rat me out!!" Sakura pleaded on her knees, with Naruto.

"Ok" Yumi smiled.

A while later.

Sakura's parents had arrived home.

Her mother gasped.

"WHO DESTROYED MY KITCHEN?!!" her voice boomed throughout the large house.

"Sakura…" Yumi replied, rather boredly.

"SAKURAAAAA!!!"

End

Sakura snarled and watched the door. 

Soon, Naruto and the other guys came in with a choice of outfits. All, fairly revealing.

Inner me. Remember to remind me to kill Yumi.

Stop saying cha.

Now you're starting to sound like Deidara..

A nice 'hell yeah' would be fine.

You're still here aren't you?

"Sakura-chan!! We can't decide on what you should wear." Naruto said frustrated as Kiba drooled over the clothes.

To name a few:

Belly Tank

Belly Top

Deep V-Neck Tanktop

Camisole

Corset

Miniskirt

SHORT shorts

VERY tight pants

VERY VERY mini skirt

High-heeled sandals

Knee high boots, high heeled.

Sakura twitched.

"HELL NO!! I AM NOT WEARING ANY OF THOSE!!" she yelled and pointed at the whorish outfits.

"Too bad. You lost a bet. You made an agreement. You have to honor your commitments." Naruto said.

Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Since when were you so smart?" Shikamaru asked.

"**This** is important." Naruto simply stated and layed out all the clothes on Sakura's bed.

Sakura glared at Naruto.

she thought with full hatred. 

The guys - except Sasuke - finally decided on a black and white corset with laces.

The jeans SUPER mini-skirt.

Black ballet flats.

A FREAKING THONG!!

She had to wear lipgloss.

AND wear white hoop earrings.

AND a hairclip.

Also a choker, but she didn't mind too much about that.

"I have to take a shower now. Go away." Sakura groaned and shooed them.

Kiba got a TOTALLY expected nosebleed.

Sakura realized what he was thinking about and kicked his groin.

"OUT!" she ordered with an anime vein on her head, pulsing with fury and rage.

After taking a shower, she put on the slutty outfit, which was completely uncomfortable.

And it kept giving her a wedgie.

She clipped on the hairclip and put on her usual eyewear.

The stupid hoops were put on.

Lipgloss…

And the cute choker!

She decided to put on studded bracelets so she wouldn't lose her tough edge.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

She looked beautiful.

I LOOK FREAKIN TERRIBLE IN THIS!!!! I'LL BUST NARUTO'S HEAD OPEN!! THEN HIS TINY BRAIN WILL COME OUT, AND HE WILL NEVER GET IT BACK!! THEEN. I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!!!!

She snarled.

she told herself and grabbed a black one and put it on. 

Sakura went downstairs with a menacing glare in her eyes.

Naruto was in the kitchen with an, ever-so-bored-Sasuke, lazy Shika, and a drooling Kiba.

She walked in, stomping her feet with her uncomfortable ballet flats.

"SHANNARO!!!" she battle-cried and kicked Naruto with full force.

SO hard, that there was a dent on the wall that he flew into.

He went bloody unconscious.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR MAKING ME WEAR THIS RIDICULOUS OUTFIT!!" she gritted her teeth.

"Hey. We didn't tell you to wear that sweatshirt. Take it off" Kiba said.

Sakura shot a death glare at him, which he brushed off.

She took it off and threw it at him.

"Happy?" she had a murderous glint in her eyes.

Kiba took the sweatsirt off his face and flew backwards with a nosebleed.

Sasuke's face turned 1000 shades of red, so he quickly turned around, also trying to prevent a nosebleed.

Shikamaru stared at Sakura before he fainted.

PERVERTS!! EVEN SASUKE IS ONE!!

Naruto slowly woke up and found himself staring at Sakura's back.

"WHOAA!! SAKURA-CHAN!! YOU LOOK HOT!! I COULD TOTALLY SCREW YOU RIGHT NOW!!!" Naruto bounced up.

Her neck creaked as she slowly turned to him with the same murderous intent.

"What. Was. That?" she asked slowly and jumped on Naruto, strangling him until he turned completely blue, then as pale as a ghost.

Her sister walked downstairs.

"SAKURA?!! IS THAT YOU!!?" she cried, pointing at her.

"YUMIIIII!!!!" she battle cried "MUST!!! KILL!!!"

She lunged at her shocked sister and went forward with a punch.

"Sakura."

Yumi grabbed her wrist and blocked Sakura's super strength punch.

The others looked shocked.

Apparently, Yumi was as strong as Sakura, if not stronger.

"Quit it. Now get to school before I kick your asses out of here" Yumi ordered, completely stopping Sakura's killing rampage.

"Fine." Sakura spat and grabbed her bag, swinging it over her shoulder and exited her home.

The others followed behind.

On the way to school, she heard cat calls, fox whistles and an occasional stranger would flirt with her.

She tried her best to ignore it all, but she nearly lost herself.

Sasuke scolded himself and tried not to think about it.Naruto questioned himself. 

Kiba howled in his mind, Akamaru howling from the distance.

Shikamaru looked at the clouds. 

Sakura clenched her fists, trying as hard as she could to refrain herself from starting a massacre.

Practically everyone's gaze was on her.

Girls gossiped.

Guys drooled and some asked her out, she immediately refused.

"SAKURA-CHAN!!!" she was glomped and hugged, by no one other than Deidara.

"Get off birdy" she scowled at him.

"Hi" Sasori smirked, checking her out.

Is that a good thing?

You have issues.

"My face is over here" she snapped at Sasori and Deidara.

Sasuke, Naruto and Kiba glared.

What'd I just think?

Not you again…

I've known her since 5th grade. We just never acknowledged each other's existence.

Hn. Go away.

Sasuke argued with his inner self.

"So why are you dressed like that?" Sasori asked, interested.

"I lost a bet with Naruto" Sakura sighed.

"That's a good thing, yeah" Deidara nodded.

Sakura didn't hesitate to kill him.

She kicked him where the sun don't shine.

"Let me get on with the day. I'll see you later senpais.." she groaned and dragged herself to the classroom.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

So…was that ok?

Yeah…um…sorry if it sucked.

If you want to criticize me or something, be free to…just don't curse too much…yeah….

REVIEW!!

Itachi: I have a pet donkey.

--'

THE END.


	5. The Worst Day Ever!

**Sakura: Rara-san does not own Naruto. Now was THAT so hard to do, Kiba?**

**Kiba: Psh….yeah**

**Idiot…**

**CHAPTER BEGIN!! **

**-------------------------**

Sakura walked into her classroom, completely uncomfortable by how everyone gawked at her. She blushed a bright red and angrily sat down in her seat.

"Stupid Naruto with the stupid bet and the whorish outfit…." Sakura muttered and looked up.

She was surrounded by guys.

"Whatdya want?" she muttered, venom dripping from her words.

They all stared at her, some were getting nosebleeds.

She twirdled her pencil in her finger and crushed it into sawdust with one try.

"WHOA!! SHE'S HOT AND STRONG!!"

"I LOVE YOU SAKURA!!"

"DAMN…"

Was all heard from her new fanboys.

"Go away" she glared.

They giggled pervertedly and tried to get seats next to her, but Sasuke and Shikamaru got them.

"Thank you" the pink haired girl muttered and returned to her fantasy world where Naruto's and Kiba's guts were being ripped up.

Soon, Kakashi-sensei arrived.

He took one look at Sakura and his mask turned a dark shade of red.

Kakashi turned away quickly, apparently he changed his mask.

Weirdo.

"Sorry I'm late. My mother almost-"

"LIAR!!" Naruto pointed.

"You didn't let me finish, Naruto. My mother almost burned my Paradise series!!" Kakashi said, rather seriously.

"Gasp. Not your Paradise series. Golly gee, what will you ever do?" Sakura said, emotionlessly.

"Very funny Sakura. Also, your clothes do not follow the school dress code" Kakashi pointed out.

"Hnn" Sakura propped her head on her arm "Don't you think I know that? If you're gonna whine, tell it to Naruto and Kiba…I lost a freakin bet"

Sakura broke another pencil.

Kakashi sighed "Alright. Let's get class started then…"

-Some random time-

"My pet Donkey is named Butt." Itachi popped up out of nowhere and he was in front of Sakura.

_Must not bleed from nose!!_ Itachi scolded himself and found himself nearly drool _NO DROOLING EITHER!!_, thankfully, most of his pretty face was covered with the Akatsuki cloak, that way, Sakura would not be able to see.

"A Donkey…named Butt?"

"It's short for Buttina" Itachi told Sakura.

Sakura tried to hold back her laughter and quickly smacked herself.

"Not again, Itachi…" Sasuke shook his head.

"Sasuke likes taking rides on Butt. He also likes playing with Deedee my pet chicken" Itachi said, rather serious.

"IT'S A FREAKIN PLUSHIE!!" Sasuke yelled at his seemingly idiotic older brother.

"If you believe enough, even a plushie can be real" Itachi said with a blank expression on his face, even though inside, he was laughing so hard his stomach hurt.

Sakura stifled a laugh.

"So, what do you want, Itachi-san?" Sakura asked, boredly.

"_I_ want to know why _my _Sakura is dressing innapropriately" he replied and his eyes widened.

_Did I just say that out loud?!!_

_**HECK YEAH, BUB.**_

_Butt? Is that you?_

_**NO. THIS IS DEEDEE.**_

_I knew you were real!_

_**Yeah buddy and so's the Easter Bunny.**_

"I KNEW IT!" Itachi suddenly cried, then sweatdropped.

Sakura furrowed her eyebrows "Eh….your Sakura? I am _not _yours Itachi-san. And what do you know? I'm lost here…"

Itachi looked at Sakura blankly. Then at Sasuke, who's face was burning with hatred to Itachi for some reason.

"Uh…." Itachi tried thinking of an excuse "I hear Butt calling me, so bye!"

He disappeared.

Sakura laughed a little and headed to Art with Gai.

-------------------------

"MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS!! HAVE SAKURA AS AN IDOL TO YOU ALL!! SHE IS EXPRESSING HER YOUTH WHILE SHE CAN!! YOUUUUTTTH!" Gai cried out, posing in a ridiculous manner.

It was amazing how he could bend like that.

Sakura punched the wall, giving it a dent, so she could restrain herself from killing Gai.

"My, my, Forehead girl is dressing nice for once" Ino's voice was heard.

"I lost a bet, pig" Sakura muttered, glaring holes on her desk.

"That figures. But, now it seems that you have your own fanclub. You're worthy enough to hang with us now" Ino announced.

"She is also worthy to help me bathe my pet chicken" Itachi said as he passed through the hallway.

"It's a PLUSHIE!!" Sasuke's voice was heard from another classroom."

"Itachi-san! Stop doing that!!" Sakura yelled, an anime vein on her forehead.

"Oh my god…you know Itachi?!! AHHH!!" Ino almost fainted.

"Yeah, what's it to ya?"

"Introduce me!!" Ino begged.

"No!! MEE!!!"

Apparently Itachi had fangirls everywhere.

The classroom was practically crowded with fangirls from other classes, just because they heard his name.

"Oh my god!! WHERE?!! AHH!!" they gasped.

"YOUTHS!! GO BACK TO YOUR CLASSROOMS!!!" Gai ordered.

The girls whined and groaned, but eventually left.

Gai cleared his throat "Today, we will be drawing pictures of an activity you would like to be doing at the moment. For example, playing tennis…or karate!! Anything is acceptable."

Gai handed out some paper to the students.

"At the end of the lesson, you will be sharing your pictures. You may start."

-LATER-

Naruto went to the front of the classroom with a picture of him eating ramen, and there were many bowls stacked on top of eachother.

"Here I am eating ramen! One after another!" Naruto licked his lips.

Kiba came up with a picture of Sasuke, him, Naruto, Sakura, Gaara, Shika, Shino, and Chouji all hanging out.

Sasuke looked emo.

Kiba was smirking and he had Akamaru by his side.

Naruto looked constipated because he was trying to think.

"HEY!!" Naruto scowled at Kiba.

Sakura was slutty Sakura.

"I'LL KILL YOU KIBA!!" Sakura threatened.

Gaara was looking cool and awesome, and hot…as usual. (-drools-)

Shikamaru was sleeping, Shino had his hands in his pockets, and Chouji was eating a bag of chips.

"This is me and the guys-and Sakura-hanging out" Kiba smirked.

Then Sakura came up.

Her picture was cruel…bloody and murderous…even though she drew it in chibi form.

Chibi Sakura was ripping the guts out of Chibi Naruto.

Chibi Sakura Grim Reaper was stabbing Kiba with a scythe.

Chibi Sakura had a glint of mischief in her eyes as the bodies of chibi Sasuke and Shikamaru lay on the floor.

It was all in a dark and bloody aura…except for one picture.

Chibi Sakura and Chibi Itachi were washing Deedee, his pet chicken.

"It's a plushie, dammit!" Sasuke yelled.

"Whatever" Sakura rolled her eyes "These are all chibi me's. Here I am killing Chibi Naruto, Kiba, Shikamaru and Sasuke. And over here in the corner, I am with Itachi, washing his pet chicken."

Sakura nodded.

Dark auras surrounded the 4 mentioned boys and they sulked-except for Sasuke who sulked on the inside-afraid of the punishment they would receive from Sakura.

"What's wrong? I like it" Itachi popped out of nowhere…AGAIN…then disappeared…_AGAIN_...

"WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?!!" Sakura snapped.

"SO MUCH YOUTH!! Which ended very fast…" Gai-sensei sighed "BUT STILL, SO GREAT!!"

Sakura 'whatevered' him and went back to her seat until class ended.

--------------------------------------------

For the rest of the day, Sakura was greeted with nosebleeds, cat calls, fox whistles, and drooling boys.

EVEN GAARA.

GAARA blushed scarlet and bled from his nose.

A normal girl would have loved this, but for Sakura, it was worse than hell.

_My rep's in the toilet…I'm SO going to make them pay!_

_**HELL YEAH!! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! WE'LL BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM!!**_

_No…that'd be too obvious…the greatest revenge is jealousy…ITACHI!!_

_**Oh…brilliant…I'm so PROUD of you!**_

_Haha. I know._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

NEXT TIME!!

Sakura has a plan! She also has a new science partner for her project…so much for getting revenge. The world always seems to go against her.

Um…so…was that ok? ALSO! Thank you for those who reviewed for ch. 2-4! I forgot to tell you.

Many thanks to Arch I. Bishop!

SakiSasu!

Hellopanda23!

xXxs2up3d l0v3rxXx!

Nyaaaaa-Chaaaan!

ShadowYumii!

Hiddenleafscherryblossom!

RyomaandSakuno4ever!

33

Itachi: Dontcha think I'm prettier than Sasuke? –looks in mirror-


	6. So aggravating

**Itachi: BOB!! COME BACK!!!**

**Itachi…that's Kisame…**

**Kisame: FREAK!! AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THE SERIOUS AND SCARY ONE?!!**

**Sakura: Fishhead. You're the scary one, I mean, HELLO?! Blue skin!**

**Mhm.**

**Itachi: BOB!!**

**Kakashi: I found my cow.**

**You're not supposed to be here!**

**Kakashi: Eh…**

**Sakura: Rara-chan does not own Naruto.**

**Nope! Thank you Sakura!**

**Sakura: Sure! **

"Itachi-san. You're smart right?" Sakura asked the cloaked man.

He simply nodded.

"Can you help me think of a way to get back at Naruto and Kiba?" she asked.

Itachi shrugged.

"Sure. I guess. What were you planning?"

"Jealousy. But I dun know what to do…" Sakura said.

Itachi put a sly grin on his face.

Sakura noticed this, even though most of his face was covered by a cloak.

"What are you thinking…?" she asked slowly.

Itachi looked down at her.

"Jealousy. Make out with everyone but them."

"EWW! That's whorish!!" Sakura smacked Itachi.

"Owwww" he gasped "Keep your insane strength to yourself!!"

"Aww…I'm sorry Chi-san" Sakura pouted and kissed Itachi's cheek where she hit him.

Surprisingly, at this moment, Naruto appeared.

"HEY!! What are you doing kissing this guy, Sakura-chan?!!" Naruto looked flabberghasted. (Heehee…flabberghasted…that's a funny word….just like squishy…oh sorry!)

Sakura smirked "I felt like it"

"Oh, well, if that's the case, why dontcha kiss me?" Naruto pointed eagerly at his cheek.

Sakura just walked past him.

Naruto growled at Itachi.

"Stay away from her"

"Now I can't do that when she doesn't want me to" Itachi replied and walked off.

_What's __**THAT**__ supposed to mean? Stupid Itachi with his stupid charm and…_Naruto cursed Itachi in his mind as he headed to Science class.

-

-

-

"Is everyone here?" sensei asked and looked around the room.

"Good. We're starting a science project today"

Half the class groaned.

"You will be assigned a partner and you will be studying a disease. I expect at least a 2 paged essay, a presentation board and pictures featuring the symptoms of the disease." Sensei said.

"You will be given 4 weeks, which is plenty of time, therefore the project will be due on October 5th. Understand?"

"Sensei. It's only the second day of school, why start a project so early?" Sakura called out.

"Haruno-san. Raise your hand next time. As for your question, it is to prepare for our studies on the human body. Also. Remember, this is high school we aren't children anymore."

Sakura sighed.

"Ok, here are your partners. Hyuuga Neji and Tenten"

"Kin Sukiyora and Uzumaki Naruto."

"Yamanaka Ino and Akimichi Chouji"

"Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura"

Sakura zoned out.

_Sasuke's not that bad right? But he was sure to have helped picked my outfit for today...ugh..._ Sakura thought, _But if we work in his house, then I'll be able to see Itachi's pet chicken and donkey...I wonder if the donkey is real...no way...his parents won't allow a real donkey in his house...that is...unless they don't know..._

"Hey! You chicken's ass!" Sakura called Sasuke.

He death glared at her.

"Haruno-san. We do not tolerate name calling in this class" sensei said "Again and you're out"

"Gomen, sensei" Sakura bowed.

"Uchiha-san. Is Itachi's pet donkey real?" Sakura asked, rather seriously.

"Hn"

"What kind of answer is that?"

"Hn"

"What does that mean?!"

"Hn" Sasuke shrugged.

_It's fun annoying this girl_ he smirked at Sakura's facial expression.

"Answer me for real!"

"Hn"

"Is the DONKEY real?!!"

"Of course it is. And so is Bob my Unicorn" Itachi walked into the classroom with a bunch of papers for the sensei.

There were sighs, gasps and faints from his fangirls. His fangirls were apparently his fans and Sasuke's.

"That's awesome man" Sakura nodded.

"Yes I know" Itachi sighed and handed over the papers.

"The fricking donkey and unicorn is only real in his insane mind. Apparently yours too" Sasuke muttered at Sakura.

"Oh my god!! You spoke!! More than 5 words at a time!! Good job!" and then she realized something. She should be MAD.

"HEY! That's mean! Just because your emo mind can't process the image of his donkey and unicorn being real, that doesn't mean that we're insane, it means that you're a doodie head that has no Imaginaaaaaation" Sakura said 'Imagination' like Spongebob would have.

Sasuke shook his head.

"Haruno-san! I told you, NO namecalling in this class!"

"Oh, right, Sorry! But I was just stating the truth"

Itachi chuckled as he walked out.

"Haruno-san" the teacher growled, obviously annoyed at the moment.

"AHH! Wari! Wari!! I won't do it again!! Wari!!" Sakura begged.

"Ok." Sensei smiled and went back to whatever she was doing.

-

-

-

Sakura and Sasuke had been assigned as partners. They exited school, and decided that they would meet at his house at 5 to start.

The innocent (yeah right) Sakura walked peacefully, listening to her iPod which was in her arms.

All of a sudden she was pushed, a blur of yellow passing her.

"WARI, SAKURA-CHAN!" Deidara's voice was heard and he continued running, leaving Sakura to fall.

"Oww…" Sakura groaned, the music in her head had stopped.

She slowly looked at the ground…to reveal a smashed iPod on the ground where she sat.

"UAHHHH!!" she shrieked "Deidara!!!"

-

-

-

Sakura barged through the door of the Akatsuki hideout. She'd never been there before, but she had always known where it was.

"Where is he?!!" Sakura demanded, a ferocious glare in her eyes.

"Oh, hi Sakura-chan! What brings you-" Deidara stopped.

He took notice of the fierce look in Sakura's eyes.

Sakura puffed out her chest "Deidara!!!" she cried "I'll kill you!!! SHANNARO!!"

She chased him in circles around the room.

"What(pant) did I(pant) do?!!" Deidara was nearly at his limit.

"You made me break my iPod!!!!" Sakura growled and caught up to him, smashing him face-first on the floor.

Deidara was confused. But then he remembered that he had pushed her.

She must have fell.

And broke her iPod.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SONGS WERE ON THAT?!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT FREAKIN THING COST?!!" Sakura cried. She was on Deidara's back, gripping his head by his hair, tightly and bashing his face onto the cold…hard…floor.

Boy was she scary.

"Uah(smash)I'm(smash)SORRY!!(smash smash smash)Un(punch and pass out)"

Sakura got off of Deidara and slapped her hands together, satisfied.

"That was good to get out of my system" she smiled.

Then a grayish silver haired man entered the room.

He stared at Sakura, and surprisingly did not show any perverted traits.

Then he looked at Deidara, unconscious on the floor before looking back at Sakura.

Finally, realization struck him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, coldly.

"Er…hi?" Sakura raised her eyebrows.

"Answer me, Haruno Sakura"

"How do you know my name?"

The man smirked "The famous Haruno Sakura. A member of the Dark Heiress group. Skilled in hand to hand combat and medical treatment. A beauty to behold, until giving the final blow to the opponent, giving them no mercy as they leave the world forever."

Sakura glared at him "Shut up. I quit that group of slutty Yankees a long time ago."

"3 years does not count as a long time, Sakura-san. Well, that put aside…what are you doing in Akatsuki hideout"

"This is not a hideout. It's Deidara's basement for goodness sakes."

The guy sweatdropped "Is it really that obvious?"

Sakura shrugged "Who are you?"

"I am Hidan." He said "Your senpai. And I suggest you leave before the others arrive"

"Psshh, whatevs old man" Sakura waved and left.

"…old man?"

-

-

-

Sakura knocked on Sasuke's door.

No one answered so she knocked some more.

The door opened, but Sakura pretended she didn't notice and kept on knocking, hitting Sasuke in the face.

Sakura laughed and entered his house.

It. Was. Huge.

"Oh my god. This is bigger than my house" Sakura said, looking around.

The ceiling was high and the walls were painted a light tan, a chandelier hung from the ceiling. There were 2 sets of stairs, one to go downstairs, the other up.

"Hn" Sasuke said.

"Where's Itachi-san?" Sakura asked.

"Is he your boyfriend or something?"

"No. I want him to introduce me to his pet chicken, donkey, and the unicorn that goes moo." Sakura said flatly.

Sasuke felt that she was serious.

_This girl...is a freak..._

_**Damn straight, yeah**_

"So…where is he?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know" Sasuke said, carelessly and motioned for Sakura to follow him…which she did.

They walked up the stairs and went down a rather large hallway, into Sasuke's room.

Sasuke's room was painted navy, with a white border surrounding it. On the wall by his bed, there was a red and white, fan like emblem. His bed was neat with white sheets and navy blankets and pillow. It was by a large window, which seemed to have a balcony.

Sasuke's computer desk was by his bed. His computer was a Dell, and it also seemed that he had a laptop, which was on a nightstand.

The floor was glossy wood and there was a rug by the TV and gaming area.

"Dude, this is awesome" Sakura said.

Even though she had known Sasuke for a long time—and Itachi—she had never been to their house before. Partly because she never acknowledged Sasuke's existence until just recently, and she didn't know _why_.

"Hn" Sasuke replied.

"So, wanna get started now?" Sakura asked.

"Hn"

"Dammit. What does that mean?"

"Hn" he shrugged, enjoying the fact that she was getting annoyed.

"Hey!"

"Hnn"

"Get that freakin pole outta your ass and talk with REAL words."

Sasuke glared at her "I don't have a pole up my ass"

"Oh really? Then I guess I'll have to stick one up there myself, won't I?!!"

"Please do"

Sakura scowled "You're such a jerk"

"No. A stupidbutsuperawesomedudethateveryonelovesbutisajerk-jerk. " Sasuke corrected her.

"I don't think you're stupid…" Sakura muttered.

"Hn"

"Agh! You're so frustrating!!"

"Then ignore me"

"I couldn't ignore you even if I wanted to"

"Why not?"

Sakura felt blood running up her face and quickly turned away "I don't know! It's getting harder to do that, now that I've acknowledged your existence"

"And why do you acknowledge me now?" Sasuke's voice was a little bit teasing.

Sakura caught on to this.

"Geez! Stop teasing me and let's just start with this stupid thing already!!" she turned back to face him.

"Hn"

_There he goes again...but I sorta find it cut—_

_**HELL NO!! IT IS **__NOT__** CUTE!**_

_Right it's ho—_

_**SAKURA!! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!**_

_Agh!! I'm trying, I'm trying!!_

"If you're done staring at my super awesomeness, let's start" Sasuke said.

Sakura noticed that she had been staring at him as she fought with her inner self.

"I was NOT staring at you" Sakura crossed her arms.

"Hn"

_Ho—_

_**STOP. IT.**_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Itachi: I told you I'm prettier than you, Sasuke.

Sasuke: F off, Itachi.

Itachi: You can ask Elektra and HelloPanda, riiiight?

Eh…I'm pretty sure they'll agree.

Sasuke: Who's side are you on?!

Itachi's. He's way prettier than you, Sasuke.

Deidara: But I'm prett_iest_, right? Yeah.

Who invited you here?

Deidara: Well, you see, there was a unicorn. And it said moo and it barfed up a piece of paper. And so, I read the paper and it said

'OMG!!

This is ITACHI!! Eeek! Can you like, join us for the ending, cause then we can catch up and get our _nails_ done!!

33 Much loves, Itachi.'

Whoa…that was disturbing on SO many levels.

Sasuke: I can't believe you people. You can actually see a UNICORN?

Dude. They're real. Get over it.

Sasuke: They are NOT real.

Sakura's right. You have a pole up your ass.

Sakura: See. I'm ALWAYS. Right.

Yup. In fact, you look a little constipated right now.

Itachi: Foolish little brother. If you understood life. You would not be in this situation.

Sasuke:-getting trampled by an invisible force-

All(except Sasuke): The unicorn and cow and donkey and llama buddies are back!! HIII!

Sasuke:-collapses due to lack of air-

Deidara: Ok…PLEASE review!! Also tell me who is prettier, me or Itachi!! Whoever you vote for will give you a kiss!!

Itachi: I never agreed to that.

Uhhh…look, Itachi! Kakashi's cow is fighting with Deedee!!

Itachi: WHAT?!! WHERE?!!

The end.

Itachi: by the way. Are we still on for the nails?

Deidara: Absolutely positively.


	7. Is it the death of Deedee?

**DISCLAIMER: Yup. I decided to do it today, instead of the brainless idiots that always do so.**

**Itachi: I am NOT a brainless idiot!**

**Who said I was talking about you Chi-san?**

**Itachi: Uh……….**

**Uh-huh. See? Ok, well, I do not own Naruto.**

**Naruto: YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! No one owns me!!**

**Bad fox. Sit!**

**Naruto: Meep…**

_**Also. Barney basher in the end. Yeah. Sort of violent, in a way…ok! **_

"So, umm…what disease do you want to work on?" Sakura asked.

"I don't care" Sasuke said, emotionlessly.

"How about…um…leukimia?"

"Hn"

"Sasuke…"

"Oh, no chicken's ass comment?"

"Too lazy" Sakura shrugged "Now do you want to do leukimia or not?"

"Hn"

Sakura scowled "Sasuke!"

"Hn. Fine."

Sakura grinned at her small accomplishment.

"Can I use your computer?" she asked.

"Hn"

"I'll take that as a yes" Sakura sighed and sat her butt on the computer seat.

She went online on wikipedia and searched for leukimia.

-

-

-

"Sa—whaa!" Sakura tripped on a tomato…when she walked over to Sasuke. She fell in an awkward position on him.

Her head was on his chest and her arms appeared to be straddling his waist.

_He's warm..._ Sakura thought.

_**SNAP OUT OF IT AND GET OFF OF HIM!!!**_

_But he's comfy..._

_**SAKURA!!! **_

_Oh crap...what's wrong with me?_

"Sakura. Do you mind getting off of me?" Sasuke spoke up.

"Eh? Oh…wait…uahh!!" Sakura quickly sprang up with a heavy blush on her cheeks.

_That's almost ador—_

_**NO. I REFUSE! I REFUSE TO ALLOW YOU TO HAVE ANY FEELINGS OF AFFECTION TOWARDS A GIRL!!**_

_But you can't deny the tru—_

_**TRUTH?!! TRUTH?!!!! Oh. Yeah you're right that was the truth.**_

_See? Now go away._

_**-sticks tongue out-**_

"You chicken's ass. Mind not staring at me like that? It's making me feel weird" Sakura said.

"Hn? I wasn't staring at you. I was simply staring off in space as I fought with my inner self."

Sakura's eyes widened a small amount.

"You do that too?"

"Hn"

"Dammit! Can we just have a conversation without a 'hn' for once?"

"Hn" Sasuke shrugged, clearly enjoying Sakura's frustrated face.

"Hmm…how about if I told you a secret?"

Sasuke's ears perked up.

Sakura cleared her throat "Oh! Dearest Sasuke! I love you dearly. More than anything else in the world! You are my life! The part of my soul I will die without! Please stay with me until the ends of the universe! Oh!"

Sasuke glared at Sakura, muttering 'fangirl'.

"Hey! I never said that it was _my_ secret. And no. I am not a fangirl. I would rather go back to the Dark Heiress group than do that" Sakura said.

"Dark Heiress group…you were a member?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow "That doesn't seem right. Seeing that they're a group of blood thirsty sluts that prey on men and women alike"

Sakura giggled "Heehee. That was fun. The feeling of blood on your skin. What's more. It wasn't your own"

"I heard a rumor that there was a member that killed without hesitation or regret. A master at hand to hand combat. She had a tremendous strength. And she was an expert on medical duties." Sasuke spoke. A lot. Whoa.

"Yep. That's meeeeee" Sakura grinned.

Sasuke looked at her strangely.

They've known eachother long. But how could he not know that she was a Yankee. Probably another secret that she kept. He remembered, barely, that when from age 9 to 13, Sakura didn't hang out with Naruto and them as much as she did.

"You?"

"Oh, yeah. Why was there a tomato in the middle of nowhere?" Sakura blushed slightly, recalling the 'incident'.

"Uh..." Sasuke hesitated.

_How should I tell her this...?_

"I like tomatoes"

_**GREAT! FLAT OUT SAY IT!**_

Sakura laughed.

_**Wow. She has a cute laugh.**_

_Pssh...what happened to'STOP IT! I will not allow you to display affection to a woman' or something like that._

_**Oh, now you decide to talk.**_

_Hn._

_**You're completely hopeless, you know that!??!**_

_Leave._

_**Hn right back at you buddy boy!**_

"Sasuke. You're staring again." Sakura blushed "Inner fight?"

He didn't reply.

"COME BACK HERE BOB!!!" Itachi cried as he ran and looked into Sasuke's room.

"Oh his Sakura." He paused "SAKURA!!!!" Itachi did something un-Itachi like. He glomped Sakura, embracing her tightly.

"-chokes-gasps-can't breathe-choke-losing air-turns blue-"

"Oh! I'm SO sorry Sakura!!" Itachi cried and quickly released.

Sakura could have sworn that he…_The GREAT Uchiha Itachi_…blushed.

_**What's he doing hugging MY Sakura?!! I'll kill him!!**_

_She's not yours..._

_**ADMIT IT! YOU WAAAANNNNTT HER!**_

_No I don't. Now go away before I make you._

"Chi-san? What's wrong?"

Itachi fake anime cried.

"BOB RAN AWAY!!! AND HE ATE DEEDEE!!"

Sakura gasped and cried with him "Why would Bob eat a chicken?!!"

"I-cry-I don't know!!" he managed to get out.

"That's…that's so terrible!!" Sakura hugged Itachi as they cried their hearts out, like Naruto and Kiba had when they found out that Sakura had Orochimaru as a teacher.

"Now I'll never be able to wash your chicken!! NEVER!!" Sakura bawled.

_Insane maniacs..._ Sasuke thought as he watched the 2 crying teens on his bedroom floor.

He was suddenly attacked by an invisible force on his head.

_Hey, what the—_

"Sasuke? What's wrong?" Sakura wiped a tear and watched. AMAZED.

"Some, oof, things biting at my head" Sasuke winced.

"Bob. Bob is eating Sasuke's head since it looks like a chicken's ass!" Sakura gasped and pointed.

Itachi turned and faced his brother. His eyes widened like saucers.

"BOB!! STOP HARASSING SASUKE!!" Itachi ordered.

"What are you talking about?!!" Sasuke turned around but didn't see anything.

Then slowly an image carved itself into his mind. He knew in reality, there was nothing there, and he was just growing insane. It was a UNICORN.

"AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(and so on)

-------------------------------------------

**Hello my super awesome coolio readers!**

**Naruto: RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN!! Oh hey, Kakashi-sensei.**

**Kakashi: Naruto. –glares- Have you seen Fred?**

**Naruto:…Who's Fred?**

**Kakashi: The cow –scowls-**

**Naruto: Uh…no…**

**Kakashi: AHH! FRED!! COME BACK HERE! ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLICE YOU UP WITH THIS BUTCHER'S KNIFE!! –takes huge knife out of nowhere-**

**Kakashi-san…what are you doing?**

**Kakashi: I think that oversized DALMATION, took my Paradise Series!! AND ATE THEM!!!**

**No…**

**Kakashi: Yes!**

**No…**

**Kakashi: YES!**

**No…**

**Kakashi: YES!!**

**No. The cow couldn't have taken them. Since I've got them right here –shows books- they're pretty interesting. But I think I'm going to burn them now.**

**Kakashi: -super SUPER SUUUPERRRR glare- RARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Oh crapskys…AHHH!!! -runs away- **

**Kakashi: COME BACK HERE!! ALL I WANT TO DO IS SHOOT YOU WITH THIS BAZOOKA!!!**

**Naruto: Have I been completely forgotten here?**

**Itachi!!! HELP ME!! –hides behind Itachi-**

**Naruto: Apparently, yes. –goes away and sulks-**

**Itachi: What's wrong?**

**I'm hiding from Kakashi. He wants to kill me! Help me PLEASE!!**

**Itachi: Sorry. I just got my nails done.**

**Deidara: Yup! Me too, un.**

**-whimpers- TRAITORS!!!**

**Itachi: Eh…**

**-cries- Fine! Then I'm going to make Butt eat the Icha Icha books and then Kakashi will kill **_**him**_** instead of **_**ME.**_

**Itachi: -gasps- You wouldn't.**

**-smirks evilly- I would.**

**Itachi: NO!! BUTT!! STAY AWAY FROM THE EVIL GIRLLLLLL!!!!!!**

**------A LITTLE CUT FROM THIS SCENE.**

**Itachi – 4**

**Deidara – 3**

**Itachi: You actually got that close to my score? But I'm super prettyful and hot!**

**Deidara: Well so am I, buddy.**

**Itachi: Hn…we'll see. BUTT! Get over here and smash Deidara's face!!**

**Itachi! Stop it! You owe your loyal fans kisses! You too Birdy-chan!**

**Deidara: YAAAAAYYYY!!! First kiss is to xSuicidalTendenciesx –kisses and blushes-**

**Itachi: -Looks away and kisses xSuicidalTendenciesx too-**

**Next!**

**Itachi and Deidara: -Give kisses to Atome Hanyou-**

**Itachi: I was called hot by Atome-chan.**

**Deidara: Pssh. So was I. Yeah.**

**Itachi: I'm hotter.**

**Deidara: I'm hottest!! YEAH.**

**Itachi: YOU WANNA TUSSLE PLAYDOH?!!**

**Deidara: Can't. Nails. Un.**

**Itachi: So very true…**

**Er…ok? Well, next kiss is to Puritimen. From Deidara!!**

**Itachi: Someone else voted for him? No way.**

**Deidara: Like Puritimen said. DEAL. WITH. IT. Yeah.**

**It's ok, Chi-san! I think you are VERY pretty and I vote for you!**

**Deidara: -gives a kiss to Puritimen and giggles idiotically-**

**Don't mind him Puritimen-chan. Birdy tends to act like a freak.**

**Deidara: HEY!**

**Itachi! Where's my kiss!?**

**Itachi: Fine…-kisses quickly and looks away-**

**NYA! I ALWAYS GET WHAT **_**I **_** WANT. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!**

**Sasuke: Idiot.**

**Hey! Go away! You didn't make it past the pretty round!**

**Sasuke: I shouldn't have either. I completely pass the drop dead gorgeous round and fall into godly.**

**You're so cocky. Now go away. Chi-san and Birdy owe kisses!! 33**

**Sasuke: Itachi…kiss? It's the sign of the apocalypse.**

**-sighs- Sakura?**

**Sakura: What?**

**Can you take Sasuke away and knock him unconscious?**

**Sakura: Sure.**

**Sasuke: What? But you're supposed to love me Sakura!**

**Sakura: Idiot. This isn't the anime or manga. –knocks Sasuke into 3 trees and K.O.!!-**

**Let's resume shall we?**

**LAST KISS!**

**Tari Shiro!! Itchi. Get over here before I drag your ass by force.**

**Itachi: Hey! Don't drag Butt into this!**

**I wasn't talking about Butt! Now get over here!!**

**Itachi: -sings Barney-**

_**I love you**_

_**You love me**_

_**Let's get together and kill barney**_

_**With a great big pnch and a kiss from me to you!**_

_**Won't you shoot him with your pistol too?**_

**Here you go Tari-chan! Itachi will kiss you. AND he wants to, right Chi-san?**

**Itachi: Yeah, sure, why not.**

**That's not how you tell someone that you are willing, baka!! –smacks weasel in the back of the head-**

**Itachi: Oww…**

**Get on with the cute lil kiss. I don't have all day you know?**

**Itachi: Yes. Ok. –kisses Tari Shiro-**

**OKIE!!**

**Um…new competition!!**

**Who is the cooliest person ever?**

**Naruto.**

**Kiba.**

**Shika?**

**Chouji.**

**The Chicken's ass.**

**Sasuke: My name's Sasuke, dammit!**

**Whatever…er…**

**Itachi.**

**Birdy. A.K.A. Deidara.**

**Kisame.**

**ORRRRRRRR…**

**ME!!!!!**

**You'll have about 1 week to vote!! I think…yeah. Ok!!**

**THE END.**


	8. Makeout with an Uchiha!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto.**

**Itachi: I won the pretty contest!!**

**Deidara: Shut up.**

**Neji: Hey. We all know that **_**I'm**_** the prettiest here.**

**Deidara and Itachi: WHAT?!! **

**Itachi: You weren't even in that competition!!**

**Neji: It was because Rara-san didn't want you guys to be jealous of me.**

**Itachi: -snaps- Oh no you didn't!**

**Neji: -snaps back- Oh yes I did!**

**Deidara: Aw! Psh! Hell no! You did not just make Itachi snap those perfectly manicure nails!**

**You guys sound like girls…-sweatdrops-**

**Neji: We'll settle this the hard way then. -smack!!!-**

**Deidara and Itachi: that hurt. PREPARE TO DIE BY OUR SLAPPING HANDS OF FURYY!!!! -super double combo smack attack-**

**Oh god. These guys are gay…HEY!! OWW!! MY HAIR!! LET GO, NOW!!!**

**Sakura: Uh oh…they got Rara-chan involved…she's worse than Tsunade-sama when she's mad…oh well!! CATFIGHT!!!**

**MEOW!!!!!**

……………………………

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and so on)"

"What is that thing?!!" Sasuke cried.

_It's official. I've lost my mind…_

"You can see Bob, too?" Sakura gasped.

"What do you mean Bob, ow, just make him stop biting my hair!!"

"But it looks like a chicken's ass. Bob _likes_ chickens."

"SAKURA! HELP ME NOW!!" Sasuke demanded, putting his hands on a mental image that seemed so real.

"Ok" Sakura furrowed her eyebrows and tackled Bob.

"Aren't…horses…supposed…to be…vegetarians?!!!" Sakura struggled, and finally got the 'unicorn' loose.

To "sane" human beings, there would be nothing there. That is the truth. But to the ones who have completely lost their minds, the image is as real as Santa Claus. So just to get it straight, Bob and Butt(ina) are only real in the minds of those insane.

-

-

-

"FINALLY!!" Sakura gasped for breath.

"ITACHI!! TAKE BETTER CARE OF BOB!!" Sakura scolded him, finger pointed.

"Wari Sakura" Itachi looked to his sides, and when no one was expecting it, ran away.

"He's gone…" Sakura growled "And OMG…Deedee is as well…I miss you, Deedee! Even if I never knew you!!! -cries-"

"Wait…so the unicorn is real? Or is it just a figment of my imagination…?" Sasuke mumbled.

"It's a figment, but it's SO real!"

"But it's just in my mind…so how does it eat something that's real?" he asked.

Sakura put a hand on his shoulder "Life is strange Sasuke. Life is-" suddenly a force pushed her forwards, making her kiss Sasuke.

Sakura and Sasuke were shocked as they landed on his bed. They stared at eachother for a while.

_WHAT THE HELL?!!_ They both cried in their heads.

Sakura gasped and quickly got off of him.

"Where's your kitchen?" Sakura asked.

"Downstairs on the right" Sasuke got up "Why?"

"I'm going to boil my face…(Drake and Josh!)" Sakura groaned.

"Oh, come on! It couldn't have been that bad!" Sasuke frowned.

Sakura didn't reply, she just stared at Sasuke.

_It wasn't that bad I kinda liked it…_

_**GET A HOLD OF YOUR SANITY SAKURA!!**_

_Right. He's just a guy. But a guy with soft lips…weird. Mine are completely chapped…maybe he uses chapstick?_

_**SAKURA!!!**_

_Right, right, haha…_

_-_

_Her lips are chapped…but they're comforting._

_**HECK YEAH!!**_

Sasuke thought.

Sasuke walked over to Sakura. They were a little too close for her comfort.

"S-Sasuke?" Sakura stammered.

Sasuke grabbed Sakura's hand and cornered her on his bedroom wall.

"Sasuke?" Sakura blushed a DEEP red.

Before she new it, his lips crashed against hers.

_AHH! Wait. This is kinda nice…_

_**SAKURA!! I REFUSE…oh wait. You're right.**_

_-sticks tongue out-_

_**KISS BACK! KISS BACK!!**_

_No probs!_

Sakura slowly responded to the kiss. She wrapped her arms around Sasuke's neck, his arms made it's way down to her waist.

_**WE'RE MAKING OUT WITH SASUKE UCHIHA!!!**_

_Shut up…_

Sasuke's tongue licked Sakura's lips, asking…no begging for an entrance. Sakura didn't think twice to respond. She opened her mouth slightly. The feeling of their tongues wrestling and his tongue explore every crevice of her mouth made her moan softly.

"Sasuke…" Sasuke deepened the kiss, putting a hand on the back of her head.

Sakura played with Sasuke's hair, twirling it in her fingers.

Then they remembered.

The door was open.

And there was Itachi watching…WIDE EYED.

"Whoa……….." he gasped.

Sakura quickly released and yelped, blushing like mad.

"Damn…what a show" Itachi smirked.

"Uh…….Sasuke! Explain!" Sakura faced him.

"Aaa….It was nice?" Sasuke tilted his head.

Sakura smacked him "Baka chicken's ass!" she pouted.

"Hey! Can I get one next?!!" Itachi asked eagerly.

Now it was Sakura's turn to be wide eyed.

"What?" she said.

"I wanna make out with Sakura too!" he pouted.

"Errr….I'm gonna go now…" Sakura headed over to the window "See you later, you chicken's ass!" Sakura waved and jumped out the 2nd story window.

"SAKURA'S GONNA DIE!! THOSE ARE 2 FLOORS!!" Itachi gasped and pointed.

He ran over to the window with Sasuke. To his surprise, Sakura landed crouched on the ground and she continued running in her short SHORT skirt.

Itachi whistled.

Sasuke's eyes grew wide at the sight of her underwear.

One word.

Perverts.

-

-

-

Sakura panted as she reached her house to see Kyo looking at her weird.

"Yo baka!" Sakura grinned, panting heavily still.

"Nee-san? What happened?" Kyo eyed his elder sister.

"Umm….uh…..nothing!" Sakura smiled and ran up to her room.

_I kissed Sasuke Uchiha…twice…and I enjoyed it?!!_

_**YEAH! WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO THAT AGAIN!!**_

_How do I get you out of my mind?_

_**Why would you do that?**_

_You're freaking polluting my mind!_

_**Like it wasn't polluted before…**_

_GO AWAY, DAMMIT!!_

_**PMSing aren't you?**_

_NO I'M NOT!!_

"SHUT UP!!" Sakura cried out loud.

Her inner self was really annoying.

"Nee-san? Are you ok?" Kyo knocked on the door.

"I'm fine, Kyo. Just have a headache. Haha" Sakura smiled.

"Ok…" Kyo said and walked away.

Sakura looked out her window.

Her eyes resembled saucers.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!?!!!!!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Ok. I know I said I'd post the new one in a week, but I couldn't resist. So here it is!**

**The competition is still on (see ch. 7) and now, Neji's included.**

**Ja Ne 33**

**Rara-chan**


	9. Code T79! Mission to find Kakashi's cow!

**Itachi: Hula hula hula yeah! Uh….-notices people looking at him weird-**

**Deidara: Oooh! Itachi, you're Busted…oooooh….**

**Itachi: Shut up playboy.**

**Deidara: HEY! It's ****clay****boy yeah. Playboy only in your dreams, un!**

**Rara: Uh…eww…scary mental image!!! **

**Deidara: Oh come on! You know you want it **

**Rara: EWW!! FLIPPIN PERVERT!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR SAYING THAT!!!**

**Deidara: Uh-oh..**

**Rara: AND DON'T YOU DARE FORGET THAT PIECE OF CLAY YOU PUT IN MY HAIR!! IT WOULDN'T FLIPPING COME OFF SO I HAD TO CUT MY PRETTY HAIR, MAN!!!**

**Tsunade: -restrains angry murderous body of Rara-**

**Rara: Lemme go!!**

**Tsunade: Umm…Rara does not own Naruto! Bye!**

PeanutbutterpeanutbutterpeanutbutterANDjelly

Sakura looked out her window.

Her eyes soon resembled saucers.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!?!!!!!"

Kakashi turned at the noise.

"Sakura. Yo" he waved, smiling.

"What the hell are you doing in that tree?" Sakura opened the window.

"I needed a higher view because Fred got loose again and I couldn't find him."

"Oh! Well that explains everything! Lemme help!" Sakura grinned.

She took out her phone and dialled her "friend"'s number.

"NARUTO!!!" she yelled into the reciever.

"AHHHHHH!! Oh wait. Sakura-chan?"

"Don't you DARE Sakura_-chan_ me! Where the hell is Fred?" sakura demanded.

"Who's Fred? Oh! You mean Kakashi's cow!"

"Yeah. Where is he, Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"Wait hold on. Lemme check my underwear drawer" Naruto said.

He rummaged through the drawer to find…………………..nothing there.

"He's no there" Naruto said.

"Where can he be? OK, bye Naruto" Sakura hung up.

"This is drastic sensei. Time to call up the forces. It's code T79! Kakashi's missing cow!!!"

Kakashi nodded in understanding and he took out his cell phone.

Sakura dialled all the guys and _even_ the girls.

"Ino. I need your help. It's code T79" Sakura said.

"He lost his cow…_again_??!"

"Yes. Now come over to my place immediately. This is an urgent matter."

"Will do forehead. Will do."

Kakashi dialled the senseis.

"Gai! I need help finding Fred! This a a code T79! Come over to Haruno Sakura's house immediately.

Sakura then dialled the Akatsuki guys.

"Tuna-chan! Code T79!!"

"-GASP- I understand. We'll be over momentarily"

"Oh my gosh, Kisame!! You know a BIG BOY word!!"

"Shut up"

"Ok!!"

Sakura flipped off her phone.

"Kakashi-sensei. They're on their way" Sakura informed.

"Good. Thank you Sakura."

"Sensei. Don't you think you should get a leash for that cow?" Sakura cocked her head.

"I've tried. So many times…but there's none big enough." Kakashi teared.

"Also. What's a cow doing here anyways?"

"Sakura. I do not question you of the donkey, the unicorn or the chicken. You do not need to know."

Sakura looked down "There is no longer a chicken among us…"

Kakashi put a hand on Sakura's shoulder.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." He said solemnly.

Sakura looked up and smiled "It's ok sensei" she cracked "It's ok!!"

The door to Sakura's bedroom opened. There stood the others. Neji. Tenten. Lee. Kiba. Hinata. Shino. Chouji. Ino. Shikamaru. Gai. Sasuke. Naruto. Gaara. Temari. Kankurou. Kurenai. And Asuma.

Shortly after, arrived some Akatsuki members.

Kisame. Deidara. Sasori. Itachi. And heck. Even Bob and Butt were there.

"Preparations are a go! Let's move out!!" Sakura ordered.

The others nodded and scattered.

-

-

-

Sakura was on the roof of the school, when she saw a pattern of black and white. She jumped onto a nearby tree (the school is only 3 floors) and chased after it.

-

-

-

Sasori was keeping a lookout for a large black and white thing.

He spotted one down the block and chased after it, with his Pikachu puppet in hand.

-

-

-

Naruto looked everywhere in his house. Then it was time to check the bathroom.

"Not in the showers…" he mumbled to himself as he reclosed the curtains.

"Not behind the door. Hey! What's that in the toilet?!!" he exclaimed, his face down the pothole.

"BLECH!!" he sniffed "EW EW EW EW EW!!!! I forgot to flush again!!"

-

-

-

Kakashi was close to tears. He lifted up his eyepatch. Revealing a completely normal eye!! But there was a large scar on it, vertically. He was on top of the monkey bars in the children's playground. He glanced down at the children who watched him with curiousity, and the others that trembled in fear.

He waved "Yo!"

"That guy's so cool!" one cried.

"Ahh! Mama! I'm scared!!" a little girl dug her head into her mother's chest.

Kakashi found this annoying and so changed spots.

"Fred…where are you?" Kakashi clutched his fists and continued on.

-

-

-

"Hey, look a karaeoke bar!!" Itachi cried and pointed to it.

"That's awesome, un!" Deidara grinned "But we have to do this for Sakura-chan…"

"We'll say that we looked for it there!" Itachi grinned.

"Genius! What're we waiting for?!!"

So the 2 idiots ran to the bar and sang their hearts out.

-

-

-

Back with Sakura.

"FRED! STOP!!" she ordered the cow.

"Mooooooo"

Sakura walked over to the cow and jumped on it's back.

"Giddyup horsey--er I mean cowey?!! MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS!!" she smacked its butt.

Sakura took out her sidekick and immediately texted the others.

_"I HAVE FOUND THE COW!! RETREAT THE MISSION_!!" she texted.

_"The identity must be confirmed"_ Kakashi texted back _"There should not be an udder."_

Sakura went upside down and checked.

"DAMMIT! How many cows can there be in the city?!!" she cried as the cow avoided smashing into a wall.

-

-

-

Sasori finally caught up with the black and white figure. He threw his precious Pikachu on it.

"THUNDERBOLT!!" he yelled.

Nothing happened. But the mysterious figure was thrown down.

It turns out….it was only an old guy…

-

-

-

"_With a taste of your lips I'm on a ride_

_You're toxic, slipping under_" Itachi sang "Toxic" by Britney Spears.

"_With a taste of a poison paradise  
I'm addicted to you  
Don't you know that you're toxic  
And I love what you do  
Don't you know that you're toxic_" Deidara continued.

They sang as they watched some people dance. And wait. What was that?

A COW?!!

"Deidara" Itachi said in his monotone.

Deidara nodded.

"AHHHH!!!" they battle cried as they attacked the shocked dancing cow.

"Identity confirmed. No udder in sight" Deidara said. Too serious for his own good. He texted the others on his Krzr.

-

-

-

Later.

"Mission Success. Where did you find Fred?" Sakura asked. She was in a complete mess since that cow wouldn't stop. But it finally leaped the fence into the zoo and went to sleep.

"In the karaoke bar" Deidara said.

"What were you doing in a karaeoke bar?" Kakashi eyed the 2 teens suspiciously.

"We…uh…umm…" they forgot their excuse.

"Psh. Isn't it obvious that they went there to look?" Naruto asked.

"Eh" Sakura nodded then she noticed something.

"Naruto. What's that on your nose?" she eyed the brown smudge.

Naruto sniffed the air.

"EWWWW!! I FORGOT TO WASH MY FACE!!!" he cried before fainting.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

**How was that? Hmm? **

**Also, what does R&R mean? Read and review or something?**

**I'm not as hyper as I usually am today, so I don't find the chapter really funny. But tell me what you think -shoves Itach's face out of the way-**

**Itachi: Fshofjnsjbis**

**No remember Itachi. Those are BAD words.**

**Tobi: Tobi is a good boy!!**

**-sighs- Ok! Bye! **


	10. A COMPLETELY random chapter

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, yeah.**

**Deidara: Yeah. Rara-chan does not own Naruto, yeah.**

**I already said that Birdy-chan.**

**Deidara: Yeah…**

**Weirdo!! And that's why I luv ya!**

**Deidara: Fangirl.**

**I AM ****NOT**** A FANGIRL!! I REFUSE TO BE CALLED THAT! I'm just a tad obsessed, is all.**

**Deidara: **

**Ok. Let's start, shall we?**

**---------------------**

"Itai!" Sakura cried, sitting up and rubbing her head.

"Who hit me?" she groaned. She was used to the early morning visits made by the guys to pick out her clothes.

Everyone immediately pointed to Naruto as Naruto pointed at Sasuke.

"Naruto…come over here for a sec" Sakura said softly, laziness in her voice.

The expressions on the others were slightly shocked since they expected her to yell and bash his head open.

"Heehee! Must be my lucky day!" Naruto grinned and cheerily walked over to Sakura.

Sakura smiled at him and motioned him to come closer.

So he did. His face was right in front of Sakura's and he expected a kiss. Sakura just grinned and clenched her fist under the covers.

**BAM!**

Did you guess? Naruto was hit. Terribly hit on the side. He was slammed into the wall and a 'crack' was heard. It was either the wall or his body.

Sakura closed her eyes and opened them again, getting up.

She ignored the injured Naruto and entered the bathroom. After a while, she emerged with a bathrobe on tightly.

"Hurry up and gimmie my stinky outfit…" Sakura yawned.

"Why are you in your bathrobe?" Naruto blushed.

"What happened to the blood that was gushing out of your head?" Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Blood? There was no blood gushing out of my head" Naruto furrowed his eyebrows.

"Only in my pleasant dreams then, huh?" she smirked and extended her hand for her clothes.

When she got them, she went back to the bathroom. Her Saturday outfit consisted of a tight black polo with a white collar which would fit her curves perfectly. She undid the first 2 buttons because it was practically choking her. Then she slipped on her dark blue jeans. She put on her charm bracelet on her left hand, and 3 wristbands on her right. Sakura added a choker and she brushed her hair. Sakura also put on the usual black eyeliner and mascara, but today she wore red eyeshadow. She also smacked on the pale lipgloss they had selected for her.

_I'm getting girlier every day…how troublesome…_

_**HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!! **_An unknown voice said.

Sakura furrowed her pink eyebrows.

_Shikamaru?_

_**I'm his inner self! AND THAT'S MYY line!**_

_This is weird…_

_**HEY! ARE YOU IGNORING ME?!! Troublesome woman.**_

_Very weird…_

Sakura snapped out of her thoughts and opened the door to her room.

"I have the strangest feeling that I had an argument with Sakura…" Shikamaru frowned.

"Oh! Do you like her, man?! Well she's _mine_ so back OFF." Naruto declared.

"Hey! I am NOT yours. As far as I know, I'm Bob's." Sakura said.

"Who is this "Bob"" Naruto did air quotes.

"My brother's unicorn" Sasuke sighed.

"Moo"

"There he goes again" Sasuke said, boredly.

"What? Isn't a COW supposed to say moo and NOT a UNICORN?" Naruto looked like he was straining himself due to all the thinking and confusion.

"Oh! No, really! I would never have guessed!" Sakura said, the sarcasm completely obvious in her voice.

"Yeah, I know. So I'm confused" Naruto said.

Sakura sweatdropped and smacked him.

"Baka. I was being sarcastic" she said.

"What is this "sarcastic" that you speak of?" he did air quotes again.

"Shut up Naruto. Now what do you people want, disturbing me on a beautiful Saturday morning." Sakura looked out the beautiful gray skies.

"You call that, beautiful?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I don't come from 'happy wonder land' like you do ya chicken's ass" Sakura said.

"Watch it Haruno" Sasuke glared.

"Do you want another kissy, Sasuke-_kun_?" Sakura puckered her lips.

"I wouldn't kiss you if my life depended on it" he said.

"I feel so betrayed."

"HEY! YOU GUYS KISSED BEFORE?!" Naruto demanded.

They both ignored this.

"Hey!!! WHAT'S UP, BUDDIES?!!" Itachi came sliding through the door.

"Chi-san!!!" Sakura cried and glomped the Akatsuki member. She hugged him, very close to crushing his ribs.

Itachi squeezed back.

"I brought my friendly Butt with me!!" he said.

"Yay!!" Sakura cheered.

The expressions of Shikamaru, Naruto and Kiba were like this: OO

"Your friendly butt?" Kiba asked slowly.

"Yes! Wanna see?!!" Itachi asked, grinning, unbeknowst that the other boys thought of something else.

"NO!!" they all waved in protest.

"I wanna see! I wanna see!!" Sakura jumped up and down.

"Sakura-chan!! Why do you want to see this guy's butt? Mine would be so much better" Naruto said.

"No mine!!" Kiba argued.

Sakura's aura suddenly turned deadly.

"I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE DONKEY, DAMMIT!!" she yelled grabbing Kiba and Naruto's heads and smashing them together….but got a hollow sound.

"ZOMG! That sound was so cool!" Sakura cheered and bashed them again…and again…and again…and you know how far this goes.

Finally…the pink haired girl got bored. She left the boys with HUGELY GINORMOUS bumps on their heads.

"Ok! So where's Butt?" Sakura grinned at Itachi.

"Right HERE!!" Itachi pushed an invisible thing to the side.

Sakura grinned "Butt!!"

Shikamaru and Kiba sweatdropped "I don't see anything there"

Itachi appeared in front of them.

Begin Spongebob mode.

"That's because you don't have…IMAGINATIOOOONNNN" Itachi did the rainbow and everything.

End Spongebob mode.

"Oh my god!!" Naruto squealed "That's the cutiest donkey ever!!" he rushed over to hug it.

"Yeah. I know" Itachi said cockily as he blew his perfected nails.

"I still don't see anything" Shikamaru said.

"I see it now!!" Kiba's eyes widened.

He had crossed the border from having sanity into going mentally insane.

"You guys are weird…how troublesome" Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

**SMACK!**

Kisame had arrived and he was talking in a girly high pitched voice.

"Do not EVER" he moved his head and index finger around "EVER! Call Pinky or her friends. WEIRD. You are just jealous. Because you cannot experience the joys of life as we can!"

"What..the..fuck?" Shikamaru furrowed his eyebrows at Kisame's sudden change.


	11. To the mall!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto.**

**-----------------**

_"You guys are weird…how troublesome" Shikamaru rolled his eyes._

_**SMACK!**_

_Kisame had arrived and he was talking in a girly high pitched voice._

_"Do not EVER" he moved his head and index finger around "EVER! Call Pinky or her friends. WEIRD. __You__ are just jealous. Because you cannot experience the joys of life as we can!"_

_"What..the..fuck?" Shikamaru furrowed his eyebrows at Kisame's sudden change._

**SMACK!**

"How DARE you speak those words to me, young man!" Kisame-said, still in his girly voice.

"K-Kisame-san…You're scaring me…" Sakura had puppy dog eyes "What's wrong with you?"

Itachi had a dramatically serious aura surrounding him.

"I regret to inform you…that Kisame-san has been brainwashed by Tobi when he almost ate him…."

Sakura gasped "NOOOOO!!!!!"

Kisame laughed "Haha. Just playin with you. I'm fine"

Sakura smacked him "YOU MADE ME WORRY, BAKA!!"

"Sorry you Pink haired bitch."

"Fishy-chan!! I want a piggy back ride….or fishy back ride. HEY! Do you have a dorsal fin?"

Kisame glared at Sakura and muttered something about 'stupid' and 'girl' but Sakura didn't pay attention. She was poking him with a stick that she got out of nowhere.

-

-

-

"I WANNA GO TO THE MAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!" Sakura whined, jumping up and down and gathering almost everyone's attention.

"Stupid. We are at the mall" Sasuke smacked her head.

"Hey!" Sakura rubbed the back of her head "That hurt, ya know, let's see how _you_ like it"

"Hell no. You have freaky super strength" Sasuke said.

"Exactly" Sakura pursed her lips and nodded, just before she smacked him.

"OWWWWW!!!" Sasuke fell to the ground.

-Meanwhile some other place-

"OWWWWW!!!"

"Was that Sasuke-kun in need of help?" a fangirl dropped her groceries.

-

"SASUKE-KUN!!!!!!!!!!" the fangirls at the mall attacked.

"AHHHHHH!!!" Sasuke screamed like a girl as he ran around in circles "What am I gonna do? Whaaaaa!!!!! SAKURA HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!! ANIKI!!!!!!!"

"Nah" Sakura scrunched her nose "I dun feeeeeel like it. It's fun watching you do that"

"Hey! Someone get a camera!! Deidara!!" Itachi ordered, smirking mischievously.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Sasuke still ran around.

"This is _so_ going on the internet" Itachi snapped the camera.

Meanwhile, Sakura was having another conversation.

"Oh, come one Naruto, donkeys are the next best thing to underwear. And underwear is the greatest thing ever invented!!" Sakura stated.

"No, Sakura-chan. FROGS are the next best thing to the next best thing to the best thing in the world. And the bestest things in the world are _pantyhose_ and RAMEN. NOT underwear" Naruto stated.

"I vote donkeys" Sakura said.

"Frogs"

"Donkeys"

"Frogs"

"Donkeys"

"Frogs"

"Donkeys!" Sakura slapped Naruto across the face.

"Frogs!" Naruto slapped Sakura across the face.

"Donkeys!" Sakura smacked him again.

"Frogs!" Naruto slapped her.

Slap fight!!

"Donkeys!!"

"Frogs!!

"Donkeys!!"

"Frogs!!"

As the 2 fought, Kiba and Shikamaru were being annoyed.

"How do we stop them?" Shikamaru asked.

"I don't know. _You're_ the genius" Kiba replied.

"That's right….ok….think….think….." Shikamaru strained himself "BRAIN BLAST!!"

"Oh! Lemme try!" Kiba grinned "Think…think…." He strained himself a little to much and got a fart attack.

**FART.**

**FART.**

**FART.**

**FART.**

"DUDE!! THAT STINKS!!" Shikamaru covered his nose and mouth, nearly gagging.

-OUTSIDER'S POV-

You were eating peacefully at the food court, when you noticed a bunch of kids standing outside a store. They were attracting a lot of attention. The food court got silent as they watched them. There was a raven haired boy - quite handsome, might I add - that was running around in circles screaming. Then there was a PINK?? Haired girl and blonde haired boy with….whiskers? that were slapping eachother's faces and yelling frog and donkey. Also, there was a pineapple headed kid that was covering his mouth and nose as the brown haired kid in front of him was…..farting, was it? You then noticed 3 people in cloaks. One was grinning madly and was taking pictures of the screaming kid. Then finally the other 2. They seemed the most normal…but one had blue-skin…uh….their _attitudes_ seemed most normal until they suddenly decided to dance like people on drugs.

-END OUTSIDER'S POV-

Kiba had finally stopped farting.

"Done?" Shikamaru asked.

Kiba nodded. told him the pla

"Ok, here's the plan to stop those two from fighting……" Shikamaru n. It was pretty immature, but those two were immature, right?

Shikamaru and Kiba walked over to the pinky and foxy.

"Hey" he tapped Sakura's shoulder.

"Oh…hi….Shika….!" Sakura said in between slaps.

"If you guys will stop for a second, I have a proposition for you" Shikamaru said, lazily.

"What…..kinda…..proposition!!" Naruto said in between Sakura's slaps "FROGS!!"

"DONKEYS!!"

"You two can become super spies!" Kiba grinned.

They stopped.

"Will we get codenames?" Sakura asked.

Shikamaru nodded.

"What's my codename?" Naruto asked.

"I don't know"

"Well that's not a very good codename!" Naruto furrowed his eyebrows.

"Fine. Bob. You can be Bob." Shikamaru sighed.

"But that name's already taken" Sakura said.

"Then pick another name" Shikamaru rubbed his temples.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

"Ok. Naruto will be Agent Super Princess Ramen Fox" Sakura crossed her arms and nodded.

"Yeah!" Naruto grinned "I like that! But I want something better! Oh! How about Agent Super Princess Fairy Angel Froggy Ramen FOX!!" Naruto said.

"Oh! That's so COOL! I want one!" Sakura said.

"Oh! Then you can be Mega Super Queen of the Donkeys!!" Naruto suggested.

Sakura was wide-eyed.

"That's….that's….SO SUPER AWESOME!!"

"Sakura, keep it down" Shikamaru sighed.

"Noooo. My name is Mega Super Queen of the Donkeys" Sakura said.

"That's only a codename" Shikamaru said.

"Ohhhhh…."

"Yes. Now I have a mission for you 2." Shikamaru said.

Naruto and Sakua gaped at Shikamaru.

"Both of you….have to…." He tried making it suspenseful "be more quiet and stop slapping eachother for the rest of the day!"

"Understood, master!" Sakura saluted.

"We will NOT fail!" Naruto saluted.

_Those 2 are like little children…how troublesome…_Shikamaru thought.

Shikamaru walked away with Kiba.

"Naruto. You're dumb. Just like a frog." Sakura said.

"Noooo I'm not. Frogs. ARE. Smart."

"Compared to you" Sakura finished.

"Ehh…shut up, donkey breath" Naruto made a face.

Sakura twitched "What…was…that?" she said menacingly.

"Donkey. Breath!" Naruto gathered up courage.

"SHANNARO!!!!!!!!"

**BOOM!**

Naruto crashed into the panicking Sasuke.

"Sakura. Remember the mission." Shikamaru said "Troublesome woman…"

"Right, master! I am SORRY!" Sakura saluted "Sorry froggy-chan"

Naruto blinked. The impact of his skull against Sasuke's REALLY hurt. Especially since he was going about 75 mph from Sakura's punch.

Sasuke was unconscious.

"AHHH!!" the fangirls finally arrived "SASUKE-KUN'S UNCONSCIOUS!!!" they gasped and drooled and thought up ideas.

"LET'S RAPE HIM!!!!" one suggested.

"YEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Stampede!

"Go ahead and take his body. I'm done with it" Itachi said, throwing it to them.

"Itachiiiii-senpai!!!!" they cried.

He just shooed them away.

"Do you know how _wrong_ that sounded?" Deidara stopped his random dancing.

"It was the truth" Itachi said casually.

Back up. Back up.

"CHI-SAN!! I love you!!!" Sakura randomly hugged Itachi.

"Thank you for selling Sasuke's body!" she cried "And I know you got paid, gimmie half" Sakura whispered.

Itachi groaned "Fine……." He handed her 200 bucks.

"YAY!! Shopppiiiingggg for meeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!" she cried.

"What's wrong with _her_ today?" Deidara asked.

"I think she's on crack" Itachi suggested.

"Ohh…." Deidara nodded "That makes sense, un"

"I want to buy…..CHEEEEEESSSSEE!!!!" Sakura pointed a finger up in the air.

"ZOMG….CHEEEESSEEE!!!!!" they went to the cheesecake factory and lived happily ever after.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**I'm sorry. I'm still not ar hyper as usual….if you wanna know why, ask my mom. She's telling me to 'act my own age' and 'act normal', otherwise she won't let me go onto the internet. I know that sucks. There's also the fact that school's almost starting and well, you know how troublesome that can be. --**

**Okie!! Please R&R! I wanna know how I did, I'm pretty sure that this wasn't funny. Mmkays. Later.**

**Itachi: Don't we get to talk, today?**

**I'm too lazy…**

**Itachi: Hn.**

**-sticks tongue out-**

**THE END.**


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto.**

**Itachi: This is terrible…**

**Sakura: What is it Itachi-san?**

**Itachi: Konoha High is making it mandatory for students to wear uniforms…**

**Sakura: What? YES!!! **

**Itachi: -glares-**

**Sakura: I mean, no!**

**Naruto: That means we can't pick your outfit anymore, Sakura-chan!!! **

**Kiba: Oh well! There's always the weekend!**

**Naruto: Yeah! That's right.**

**Itachi: The uniform better match with my pretty nail polish.**

Did you hear the bad news? The new uniforms required in Konoha High? It's terrible, huh? But let me give you a description. The female uniform:

Black or white button up blouse that reaches hips. Embedded is the Konoha Leaf on the upper left chest.

Choice of Black or white tie, or black or white ribbon/bow.

Black or white knee high socks.

Black school shoes.

Black or white miniskirt.

The winter uniform was simply longer and it consisted of either a black or white blazer.

Male uniform:

Black or white short sleeved button up shirt. Embedded is the Konoha Leaf on the upper left chest.

Black or white tie.

Black pants.

Black shoes.

The winter uniform was longer as well and consisted of a black jacket.

_Yes! I'm so glad!! Uniforms!! Now no more sluttish outfits!! Except for the miniskirt of course…Eh…I'll just use the winter skirt for it, then. Yeah! That's smart! _Sakura grinned as she got dressed in her new school uniform.

She picked out the white blouse, black tie, black winter skirt, white knee high socks and black shoes. Her mom had gotten it for her over the weekend. Apparently they had received a note or something about it.

_Haha. Akatsuki can't wear their cloaks anymore! But then again, they would never dare to disobey Tsunade-sama. The last time they did, they returned from her office, each with bruises all over their bodies. _Sakura laughed softly as she applied her eyeliner and mascara.

After she was finally ready, Sakura went downstairs to eat. She found some toast waiting for her and with that, she left, grabbing her Sum 41 messenger bag on the way.

-

-

-

"Sakura-chan!! Don't these uniforms suck?!! Un." Deidara whined as he skipped up to her.

"I like them" Sakura shrugged.

"Huh…I guess they're ok, hmm?" Itachi came up to them giving a high five to Deidara and smirked at Sakura.

Damn. Itachi looked _fine_, much hotter than usual if that's even possible XD. He wore the white shirt and he left 3 buttons unbuttoned, revealing his chest slightly. It was untucked, heck yeah, man. He let the tie loose and he wore the rest of the needed stuff.

Sakura found heat rushing up her face as she stared at Itachi.

_**DAMN!!**_ Inner Sakura yelled.

_Mhm…_

"Sakura. I know you are staring at my super pretty awesome hotness, but it's getting kinda weird…" Itachi said.

"Eep!" Sakura yelped "Wari, Itachi-san"

"Yeah, whatever. This uniform clashes with my green nailpolish, right Deidara? Now I have to change to black, I guess" Itachi sighed.

Sakura laughed and headed to class.

Kakashi still wasn't there yet.

"Chicken's ass!!" Sakura grinned like mad as she waved at the emotionless Uchiha.

He went to sit next to her "What?"

"I love you!!!" Sakura hugged him.

His fangirls glared at her like mad, she just stuck her tongue out at them.

"Get off Sakura." Sasuke said.

"Whhhyyyyy??" Sakura whined, snuggling into his neck "You're warm!"

Sasuke stayed silent.

"I usually don't like being warm. But the AC is on, so it's k!!" Sakura mumbled into his neck.

"Sakura." Sasuke's tone was grave.

"Hmmmm?"

_How do I get her off?_

"There's a turkey at the door" Sasuke said randomly.

Sakura immediately jumped up and screamed bloody murder.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TURKEY!!!!!!!" she cried "I'm scared!!! Gaara!!!" she jumped into his lap.

Gaara stayed silent, and finally spoke "…Sakura….there is a turkey behind you…"

It took a while for it to register in her mind.

"AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sakura yelled again "ITACHI-SAAAAAN!!!!" she cried.

Itachi suddenly appeared by her "What is it, Sakura?"

"Th-there's a turkey! Sasuke and Gaara said there was a turkey!! I'm scared!!!" Sakura cried into his chest. Itachi comforted her and glared at Sasuke. Then at Gaara.

"This is your fault. I broke a nail coming here at the sound of Sakura's cry. She said there was a turkey. Sakura is SCARED of turkeys. My nail hurts. You 2 will pay." Itachi said gravely as he embraced Sakura in a hug.

"OMG!! It's Itachi-kun!!!" his fangirls cried.

"What are you doing with the Haruno slut?"

"Yeah. The stupid pink headed bitch."

"She has a huge forehead."

Itachi glared at them. "Be quiet about her. Or I will swear that this will be your last day on Earth. Understand?" he threatened. With that, the fangirls retreated.

Sakura stared at Itachi, thinking of things.

"Itachi-san! Take off your hairtie!" Sakura demanded.

Itachi cast a questioning glance at her, but did as he was told.

Sakura'a heartl almost stopped.

_**DAMN…**_

"WHOA!!! Itachi-san!!! You look EVEN MORE super duper pretty hott and awesome!!!! In the words of Naruto: I could totally screw you right now!!!!" Sakura exclaimed.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Realization struck her. She actually said that out loud.

"Hehe…oops?" Sakura blushed 1000 shades of red.

"AHHHH!!!!! Look at Itachi-kun!!!!" the fangirls cried.

"GET PINKY!!!!"

"Thank you very much, Sakura. But alas! I must return to my class!! SAYONARA!!!!!" Itachi screamed as he ran as fast as he could to avoid his fangirls.

Sakura, on the other hand was surrounded by fangirls in her class.

"How dare you say those words to Itachi-kun"

"He's MINE!!"

"What the hell? He's mine!!"

"Ugh! You're stupid and ugly, dumbass!!"

"Yeah? Well, tell it to the hand!"

Sakura slowly slipped away from the crowd and sat by Naruto and Shikamaru.

The door flew open "Hey guys! Sorry I'm late!! My cow broke down, so I had to-"

"LIAR!!" Naruto yelled.

"Naru, sit down!" Sakura pulled him by his tie, making him land his cute butt(lol) on the chair.

"Ok, guys! I just wanted to let you know that this Friday there will be a 'back to school' dance and-"

"Hey! It's Friday?!! That means we only have like, one, two, three, um…4 days to prepare!!" Ino cried, slamming her fist on the table.

Sakura sweatdropped "Pig. 4 days is enough. And if you count today, 5 days, so yah"

"Shut up, Forehead girl!! These are girl matters!! You wouldn't understand, homosexual freak!!"

Sakura scowled "Damn you, ya fat lard!! I am NOT a homo!!!"

"Oh yeah, prove it" Ino crossed her arms.

Kakashi just watched in amusement, giggling uncontrollably on the inside.

_This won't turn out very good_ he thought.

"Fine!!" Sakura got up out of her seat and walked over to Sasuke's desk. She pulled him up by hits tie and kissed him.

_What the fuck, man?_ Sasuke thought.

_Blink. Breathe. Flare nostrils. Think. _Ino thought as she did what she reminded herself to do.

"HEY!!! STOP KISSING SASUKE-KUN!!!!" Ino yelled.

Sakura let go of him and allowed him to fall into his seat so he could daydream.

"Did I prove my point?" Sakura tilted her head.

"Ugh! No! Just making out with one guy isn't enough!" Ino crossed her arms.

Sakura scoffed "Meet me at my lunch table at lunch."

"I'm _so_ gonna watch this. It's practically Icha Icha coming to life!" Kakashi giggled as he clapped and cheered.

Flame me. I don't care, cause I KNOW it's bad, so yeah.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and thank you to my all time reviewers!

There haven't been many reviews for the past chapters, I just wanted to know why…mmkays!

Ja ne


	13. Encounter with the Dark Heiresses

**I do not own Naruto.**

Later at Lunch:

Ino walked up to Sakura's table like agreed.

"Hey, pig!" Sakura greeted "Whatchu doing here?"

"You told me to come" Ino scoffed.

"Oh! Right! Mmkays! Lemme finish eating " Sakura grinned.

Ino gave her a suspicious look.

As soon as Sakura finished eating, she turned to face Ino...and the other people that was watching her with curiosity. Hell. Kakashi was there. Giggling to himself, really weirdly. What's worse? His orange book wasn't there with him.

"So? Prove you're not a homo" Ino tapped her foot unpatiently.

"...ok" Sakura said, getting up and walking over to the Akatsuki table.

"What are you doing over there?" Ino called "Those people would never accept y-"

OMG!! Sakura kissed Itachi!!

Itachi giggled like mad when it was done.

"Boo yah!!" he exclaimed, pumping his fists in his air.

Sakura stared at him, then she slapped him. It turned out that the kiss was only a distraction to get his...chocolate milk!!

Sakura ran back to where Ino was.

"You are SO dead! No one kisses Itachi-kun!!" the blonde girl fumed.

"He's just a friend, baka. And I wanted chocolate milk..." Sakura shrugged and poured the chocolate milk on Ino. At that time, Ami—a slut—was about to smack Sakura in the face. She grabbed Ami's tie and grabbed her to make her kiss Ino.

Les...

"AGH!! I'M POISONED!!" Ino fumed.

"I don't need to prove that I'm straight. I just need to prove that you're not" Sakura smiled, bonking her in the head.

Ami was shocked and she ran away like a pussy. Haha!!

"HEY! YOU PEOPLE WATCHING!! GO AWAY!!" Sakura yelled.

"That wasn't Icha Icha coming to life" Kakashi muttered under his breath "But that was funny...heehee...heehee..."

"Yo! Sensei. If you're done giggling like some crazy idiot, you can clean up the chocolate milk..." Sakura called.

_DAMN! CAUGHT!_ Kakashi cursed.

"Uhh...I'll have the night guy get it..."

"Lazy assed bum..." Shikamaru sighed.

"Yeah. You're one to talk" Temari slapped him.

"Owwww!!" he rubbed his head "What the hell's your problem, woman?!"

I KNOW that was stupid. Writer's block. You can flame me.

Sakura sighed in satisfaction of what she'd done to Ino. She was proud. And what she did to Ami too. That was even better. The pink haired girl was on her way home after her tiring day of school. She needed to meet with Sasuke for the project today. Deciding to take a shortcut, she had to go through an alleyway. And much to her dismay...they were there. Black Heiress group.

They seemed to have noticed the pink haired girl's arrival.

"Sakura..." they smirked "Haven't seen you in a while" the leader said.

"We didn't finish your punishment..." another said.

Black Heiress. All were dreadfully skilled in combat and everyone was equally powerful. Except for the leader. She was the strongest of them all.

"We heard you kissed Sasuke-kun and Itachi-kun today" they teased.

"Little whore" a black haired girl appeared behind her. The alleyway was dark, but Sakura could feel a cold metal on her throat.

"Arianna." Sakura whispered "Let me go."

"No. We can't do that...anyone who betrays Black Heiress will not live another day...do you understand that?" Arianna replied, amusement dripping from her voice.

The girl pressed the cold and sharp metal on Sakura's neck, causing her to bleed slightly.

"Join or die" a girl with pale blue hair said.

"Ne, Icee. I thought you were my friend" Sakura laughed softly.

"Shut up!" the girl, Icee (a nickname) kicked Sakura in the gut.

Sakura coughed out some blood, and the knife to her neck just cut her deeper. She winced in pain as tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

"Leave me alone" Sakura choked out.

The knife was taken away from her neck. The black heiress group wore masks to cover half of their faces. Like Hatake Kakashi. But the heiress group also wore masks with different designs on them. The masks were black and the color painted on them were either red or white. The leader had a black and gold mask. Her identity was unknown. (picture ANBU masks, but no animal designs)

Shiny pieces of metal glistened in the dark. There were 4 members at the moment. The leader. Arianna. The girl known as Icee. And an apparently new member that had black hair.

They approached her slowly.

--

"Where the hell is she?" Sasuke groaned. Sakura was supposed to be there about two hours ago.

"She's never late" he muttered as he took out his cell and dialled her number.

"Ugh! Where the hell!! She's not freaking answering her phone!!" he groaned again as he smacked himself on his bed.

There was a heavy knocking at the door.

"Sasuke!" a monotonous voice rang "Open your freaking door!!!"

"Whatdya want Itachi..." Sasuke opened his door lazily.

"Foolish little brother. Sakura is in the hospital!" Itachi furrowed his eyebrows.

"What's she doing there?" he asked, completely missing the point "She visiting someone or something?"

"She's the flipping patient!!" Itachi grabbed his younger brother's wrist and forcing him out with him at top speed.

-

-

-

"What's going on Itachi?" Sasuke asked gravely as they reached the hospital.

"Haruno Sakura" Itachi asked a nurse.

"Third floor, room 319" the nurse replied.

Itachi nodded "Come on, Sasuke"

"Answer my question, Itachi" Sasuke scowled, trying to keep up with his brother.

"Sakura was badly beaten up. She was found in an alleyway with 6 broken ribs, an injured lung, 2 broken fingers, a fractured leg, a small concussion, she was unconscious and barely breathing. Need I continue?" Itachi asked.

Sasuke was silent.

_What? How could this happen?!! Who the hell did this to her!! I'll KILL THEM!!!_

They finally reached Sakura's room. The machines showed her heart rate. Luckily she was still alive. She looked terrible. A bloody mess. She was covered in bandages and casts. It seemed that she was still sleeping.

"S-Sakura?" Sasuke called out slowly.

Itachi took a seat by her, Sasuke shortly followed.

Her eyes slowly opened up. She couldn't make out her surroundings to well due to a black eye. After a little more blinking it was fine.

"It hurts..." she whispered softly.

"Sakura..."Itachi stroked her hair.

"Who did this to you Sakura?" Sasuke asked...no...demanded.

She paused. Should she tell the truth? Or should she just pretend everything is ok?

"N-no one" she decided.

"Tell us the truth Sakura" Itachi said softly but in a harsh tone.

"Some random person on the streets" Sakura lied.

"You're terrible at lying..." Itachi sighed.

Just then the door burst open, revealing all the guys and even some of the girls. There was Neji, Lee, Kiba, Shikamaru, Chouji, Shino, Gaara, Kankurou, Naruto, Hinata, Temari, Tenten and heck...even Ino was there. She smiled softly at Sakura.

"You look like a mess, forehead" her eyes pooled with care.

"Why are you here, Ino?" Sakura asked.

"That's not how you greet someone who came all this way for you" Ino smiled "I nearly broke a nail"

"That happened to you too?!!" Itachi gasped, pointing at Ino.

Sakura laughed as Ino blushed a bright red.

"Oh my god!! Itachi-kun!!" she clung onto his arm.

Itachi frowned, his eyes pleaded to Sakura for help.

"Your fault, baka" Sakura said.

"You're so meeaaaaan, Sakura-chan!!" Itachi pouted.

"Sakura...chan?" Sasuke scowled.

"Yes" Itachi nodded.

"I'll kill you, you freaking gaylord!!!" Sasuke cried, lunging onto Itachi. Ino jumped off of him.

The door burst open again, revealing Kisame, Deidara and Sasori. They were panting like crazy.

"We...came...here...as fast as...we could...yeah..." Deidara put his hand to the door, catching his breath.

"Awww!! Even Fishy-chan came!!" Sakura grinned.

_She can smile through all the pain..._Sasuke looked at her considerately. He was caught off guard and Itachi was able to get up, pummeling his younger brother to the ground with his foot. He did it effortlessly too.

"Haha. Foolish little brother." Itachi crossed his arms, his foot on the back of Sasuke's chicken hair.

"Mmmph! Mmpmmmph!!" Sasuke spoke into the floor. Translation: 'Get off, gaylord!! I'll kill you!!'

"Sakura-chan!!" Naruto went up to her and almost crushed the daylights out of her but was restrained by the guys.

"You'll kill her idiot" Shikamaru sighed.

"Who did this, Sakura-san! I vowed to protect you, but I failed!" Lee frowned "I will avenge you!!!! YOUTH!!"

Sakura sweatdropped "N-no one" she forced a smile onto her bruised mouth, it hurt like hell, but she forced herself through the pain.

"Sakura...tell us the truth" Gaara murmured.

"I know...we don't really know you...but please tell us..." Temari spoke.

"Please..." Tenten spoke up as well.

Sakura sighed "Dark Heiress"

The Akatsuki boys glared as the others stood wide-eyed.

"Why would they attack you?!!" Naruto cried "Sakura-chan!!"

She stayed silent so Itachi spoke for her.

"Sakura was once a part of Dark Heiress. Since the age of 9 to 13. It is a known fact that anyone who leaves the group will be killed to keep their secrets safe. Sakura was minorly beaten before. She escaped with only a few bruises. This time they didn't hold back. My guess is that they thought she'd be dead. They were very careless, they left her alone and allowed her to die. Luckily someone found her. They rushed to the hospital where she was put in the emergency room and was taken care of. Also, if Black Heiress finds her, they will no longer hold back and they will kill her on the spot. The only way to save her from this is a constant body guard with her, or we catch Dark Heiress first. Though, the only group able to do that, would possibly be Akatsuki. The group of women are only evenly matched by us, not even the cops can defeat them" Itachi explained "And now, Bob has to go to the bathroom, please excuse us"

"ITACHI!!!" Sakura cried, hurting her throat as she watched her senpai walk out the door with Bob next to him.

"Oh my god! Look at the pretty unicorn!!" Gaara cried, freaking everyone out. He cleared his throat "I-I didn't say anything..."

That was the sappiest thing ever. Flame me once again if it was terrible, yeah. Mmkays, here's a little treat.

**BLOOPERS**

Ino walked up to Sakura's table like agreed.

"Hey, pig!" Sakura greeted "What _are_ you doing here?"

"You told me to come" Ino scoffed.

"Oh! Right! Mmkays! Lemme finish..."

Sakura choked.

"Ahh!! Someone do the heimlich!!" Ino cried.

Sakura held her throat.

"CLEAR!!" Sasuke cried getting behind Sakura and pushing on her chest.

The food was choked out...hitting Itachi on the nose.

"Gross!! Sakura!!" Itachi scrunched his face.

Sakura was red though.

"Sakura?" Itachi tilted his head.

Sasuke had a perverted grin on his face.

"SASUKE STOP GRABBING MY BOOBS!!!!!!!!!!" Sakura roared.

-

"Sakura..." they smirked "Haven't seen you in a while" the leader said.

"We didn't finish your punishment..." another said.

Her mouth twitched.

"Hahahaha!!" she laughed.

"Oh, come on! Ari!!" Sakura clutched her stomach.

"Sakura!! Arianna!!" Tsunade yelled.

"I-I'm sorry!!" the two cried.

"Alright. Take 235" Shizune sighed.

-

**BEHIND THE SCENES**

"Lalalalalalaaaaaaa!!"

**CRACK!!**

"Baka! Itachi you owe me another window!!" Tsunad roared.

"Uuhhh...Sasuke did it..." Itachi pointed to his chicken headed younger brother before dashing away.

"Hey! Itachi, you traitor!" Sasuke scowled.

"Foolish little broooootheeeeer!!!" was heard in the distance.

"Do the cha cha slide" Bob said.

The end!


End file.
